A Mistake I Wish To Forget
by brels
Summary: Arizona sleeps with Lauren. Callie leaves to start again. Is their a chance with outside help they can get back together?
1. Chapter 1

own nothing. These characters belong strictly to Shonda!

I am looking for a Beta. Please PM me if your interested.

* * *

Never in my life have I felt so crushed when my wife stood there and, blamed me for her sleeping with Boswell! I had no idea there was so much resentment and hatred towards me. She made me believe things were getting better when they were not. How did I not notice this! I guess I wanted to believe after all the loss we have endured  
she was telling the truth, that we were getting through this.

After the yelling and screaming in the Doctors' Lounge, I left to pick up Sofia from daycare, took her to my office, and locked the door. Sofia did not have a clue how her  
little world was about to change. She started crying for her momma, from the loud noise the thunder was making and lightning storm. As I tried to comfort my baby,  
the tears started to roll. Sofia and I fell asleep, and when we woke, I took Sofia home. I had daycare inform Arizona that I had Sofia and would be at home.

I called Owen and let him know that I would need a 3 days off. When Arizona did not come home for 2 days or contact me, that when I decided what I needed to do. I knew I could no longer live like this and could not watch her sleep with Boswell that I just needed to leave. There has been so much lost! Even though Arizona feels that I have lost nothing she couldn't be further from the truth. I lost everything my best friend mark and a friend in lexis as well I just lost my wife.

I did not think I could survive with any more heartbreak. Deep down I knew I was running and I promised her I wouldn't leave her at Bailey's wedding. However, how could she expect me to sit back and take this? No it is over I knew I should not have taken her back after Africa that she would destroy me. She was the one person  
who knew she could. Therefore, I contacted my attorney to draw up the divorce papers; I told him what I wanted out of the divorce just my trust fund back, and full custody of Sofia. He informed the paper work was never completed for Sofia adoptions so there is not custody to battle. We never filed them. I asked if he could draw up papers, over visitation and, to sell my share of the hospital and will contact him with the name to send the papers too.

I placed a call to Christina in private and offered to sell my share of the hospital to her and she accepted. Christina assured me she would keep it confidential until the  
board meeting. I contacted a real estate agent to sell marks place.

Arizona came home, on day three and I have already put my plan into action. Things were very awkward between us. We just looked at each other with tears in our eyes. I offered her keys to Mark's place and stated, "Mark's place or a hotel, your choice". Sarcastically and hatefully added, and you are not allowed to have Boswell at Marks! "The hotel might be better so you can have Boswell over!" "Please" Arizona said, "I don't want her I love only you, and will only love only you, she was a  
mistake Callie I don't know what happened please let's talk." I looked at her as if she was crazy and said, "Either take the keys to Mark's or go to the hotel now. Your choice, but now I cannot even look at you. Arizona decided to stay at Mark's. After she gathers some of the her clothes, I informed her to get her stuff out while I was at work. Please leave your house key as well.

Then I decided to call Addie. Addie was beside herself with what had happen. I filled her in on everything that I thought I was going to do, and she stated she would support me in whatever I chose. She offered me to go there and live and said she could ask around for a job. However, I knew I could not do that. Sofia and I needed a complete fresh start.

With Addie help, she said there was an opening up at Boston general that I should look at. I was only and attending at Seattle Grace but with my experience from there and the cartilage research, I should apply there for Department Head of Ortho. So I did, and when Arizona had Sofia for the weekend, I flew to Boston for the  
interview and I have accepted the position as Department Head Of Ortho When I got home from Boston, I informed Arizona that I would be moving and Sofia will be going with me.

Now that I have everything in order I was ready to schedule the board meeting.

I spoke with Arizona's parents and requested they come here, because shortly Arizona would need them. I let them know I could not explain everything that I would let their daughter do that. I asked that they do not let on to Arizona of their arrival. I let them know they would be able to stay at the apartment there was no need for a hotel. Since their arrival would be just in time to attend the Board meeting.

So I went to work for the next two weeks like usual. I didn't' speak with anyone, did my job, ate  
lunch in my office, and took care of Sofia.

The time has come for the emergency board meeting that I called. I walked in and saw everyone seated as I felt all eyes on me. I started with," I would like to invite a few people into our meeting does anyone object?" No one said a word. "Therefore, I called for Boswell to come with Arizona's parents."

I pulled the chair out for Boswell to sit next to Dr. Robbins. I show Colonel and Barb to their seats across from Arizona and Boswell. "Now that I have everyone attention" I started "I have some things to discuss, and then I will be out of your hair. You know things can change on a dime or in this case a plane crash and an on-call room. has informed me that since I was not on the plane and did not lose anything that I had no business being on the board.

After thinking this through, here is my resignation from the board, as well as my job. I have sold my shares to Christina." Everyone looked to Christina to confirm and she nods her head yes. "Since I feel, I can no longer hold my head high in this hospital I will be leaving in 3 hours with Sofia.

Dr. Robbins this is for you to sign and mail in the self-addressed envelope to my attorney. Due to your infidelity with Dr. Boswell I can no longer be married to a cheater and work here with you. When you threatened to cut off my leg to even the score I knew! I knew we were over" all that could be heard was gasps, as Arizona looked shocked that I would let our dirty laundry air out here in front of our friends and family.

The tears started to fall, no matter how hard I tried for them not too; I took off my wedding band and slide it over to Dr. Robbins and then ripped the heart necklace off and dropped it. I continued, "As for you Dr. Boswell, she is all yours. Colonel and Mrs. Robbins I am sorry you are finding out this way. There was no easy way to tell you since Dr. Robbins cannot be honest with anyone including herself." I walked over to the stunned Colonel and his wife telling them I was sorry again, as for the rest of the board not one word came out of their mouths.

Derek, said Callie where are you going? You belong here. Christina why didn't you turn her down on buying her shares. Torres belongs here with us. Look I am sorry as Christina looked at Owen on what she was going to say. I understand better than anyone on how it feels to be cheated on and well lets say this has happened twice to Torres and as here friend and the godmother of her Sofia I will be there for her.

Christina looked at Arizona said how could you! How could you break up your family? Torres loves you more and that anything. She made the hardest call of her life Arizona telling Alex to amputate your leg while she was in the middle of Derek surgery. I stood there and looked between Christina and Arizona then Christina looked at me and said if you every want to buy back your share you let me know Torres. Christina went to get up and leave and turned around and looked at Lauren and said, you discuss me!

I opened the door and started to walk out when I heard her crying and Arizona started yelling "Calliope you cannot leave." I stopped and said," oh, but I can you see, I have put your support system in place. You have your entire plane crash friends and your fuck buddy or girlfriend along with your parents. What did you say to me when you left me in the airport for Africa you stay here and be happy and I will go and be happy?

Oh yes and Dr. Boswell congratulations on destroying a family. You knew she is married and had a daughter and you chose not to care and chased her knowing the trauma she has been through. You should be happy I did all the dirty work and you got to reap the awards! I hope you get the job Boswell, I am sure Dr. Robbins will love the on-call room! Again congratulations!"

With that I left and picked up Sofia, said a few good-byes, and headed for Seattle international for a flight to Boston.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: The characters in this story aren't mine and they belong to Shonda Rhimes and producers of Grey's Anatomy

A/N A special thanks to Calzonaforever35 who has done a terrific job!

Arizona POV

I can't believe what just happened. Callie called a board meeting, I sat dumfounded when she called in Dr. Boswell and sat her next to me. Why would she do that? Then my parents walked in. I couldn't understand what was going on. When Callie started with her resigning from the board I thought ok she heard me. But when she added her job resignation is when my brain clicked in gear. I had completely forgotten about Boston. I thought it was just talk. I never thought she meant it.

As she proceeded to pass me the large envelope and said what was in it I was shocked. She never said a word about filing for a divorce! But I should have known something was going to happen, she wouldn't look at me let alone talk to me. Then the final blow came with the wedding ring, and when she tore off her necklace I was as speechless as everyone that looked on. I felt Laurens hand on my back and I felt sick. I shuffled in my seat causing Lauren's hand to fall. Callie finished her speech and left the room, my father following her no more than 5 seconds later. Tears immediately start to fall from my eyes. I need to do something I need to fix this!

Callie POV

Needless to say, the members of the board along with the others were stunned into complete silence. With that I walked out of the room, picked up Sofia and made my way towards the elevators so we could catch our flight to Boson. When I reached the elevator doors I heard Arizona's father calling my name. I stopped and turned around with tears in my eyes and just looked at him. Then he pulled me into his arms and told me how sorry he is for what his daughter had done.

"I guess she isn't the good man in a storm I thought I raised her to be", he whispered into my hair. Once we pulled apart I could see the purely sympathetic look he had on his face. He then asked if I would contact him once Sofia and I were settled in. At first I was a little indecisive because I didn't know everything would play out. When he saw the unsure look that was on my face, he simply stated that he would not tell Arizona, and that he and Barbara still wanted to be in our lives regardless of what was going on between Arizona and I. I looked straight into his eyes, searching for any flash of any doubt or dishonesty. I found nothing but sincerity and honesty in his eyes and in that moment, I knew in my heart he was telling the truth. He pulled me into another hug and said, "I know you're heart broken and angry but I am here to listen, and help in any way that I can. Just please look into seeing someone for yourself, and I promise I will see it that Arizona sees someone as well. I should have known better being in the marines, that she should have sought professional help sooner rather than later."

"Colonel I tried and she just bit my head off stating that, "She was fine" and "we were fine", I guess you see how "fine" we actually are." With that the Colonel hung his head and walked back in the direction of the board room.

Just the elevator doors opened and Bailey started walking out, but when she saw my tear stricken face she said, "Torres what the hell is going on?" I just shook my head and replied, "Oh Bailey" as the tears started to stream down my face. That was the only thing I could manage to get out before the hyperventilating kicked in. Sofia is still oblivious to the scene unfolding in her arms as I place her in one of the chairs directly next to me along with one of her toys. Bailey reached a hand out, and I stepped away from her gesture telling her I was okay. Once the panic passes, I explain to Bailey that she would find out soon enough; and I would be in touch with her sometime down the road because I was sure I need her as my friend. As bailey nodded and walked away, I picked up Sofia and sent a text to Addison letting her know I was on my way and I would let her know when we were settled in.

Arizona POV

When my father returns to the board room his eyes are red and his head is hung low. He whispers something to my mother and they both look at me with such sadness and anger. That's when I rise out my seat, ignoring Lauren's attempt to stop me and head toward the front of the building. I feel the presence of my parent's behind me. I know Callie will have to leave out that way. I need to fix this NOW.

Callie POV

Once Sofia and I made it to the entrance of the hospital, I recognized the three figures by the door as Arizona and her parents. As we approached them Sofia bounced in excitement in my arms and reached out for Arizona as she always does when her momma is around. I looked at Arizona as she whispered with tears rolling down her face, "Calliope, can I hold her for a minute please?" As much as I didn't want to interact with Arizona, I'm not going to keep her from seeing our daughter. I handed Sofia over to her and Sofia snuggled right into her momma's neck, which made this even harder on all of us.

Arizona paused and let out a soft, "Calliope". With that I held up my hand stopping her from continuing her sentence. "Arizona you lost the right to call me Calliope the moment you slept with someone else. This isn't the time or the place for any discussion right now. When I'm ready to talk my attorney would be in touch with you. You and I both know your rights to Sofia, and there is paperwork in the envelope for Sofia along with the divorce papers. Please don't make this harder on Sofia and I; I think you've done enough. Good luck with everything and enjoy Dr. Boswell." I said the doctors name with so much hatred. At that very moment, the topic of the discussion comes into view. (Yes Dr. Boswell) Then Arizona's parents came closer and heard the entire thing with their shoulders slumped and heads hung. I reached for Sofia, hugged the Colonel and Barbara and walked away from them.

Arizona POV

The loves of my life are walking out of my life at this very moment. I start to yell their names and for them to "Please come back!" I yell, "I don't love her she was a mistake the biggest mistake of my life Callie PLEASE COME BACK!" When I realized they weren't coming back I turned towards my father and broke down in his arms. While my father was trying to console me I heard the voice of the last person I wanted to talk to. "Ari…" My father cut Lauren off and yelled at her to, "GET AWAY FROM US, NOW!"

When I finally calmed down, I pulled away from my father and headed back into the hospital toward the board room to give Lauren a piece of my mind. When I walked in the room Lauren had a smirk on her face as to say, 'I knew you'd come back'. This made my blood boil. Not only did this woman ruin my life, but she believes she won me over. "You need to leave Seattle and go back where you came from Dr. Boswell. You've managed to destroy my family that I've worked damn hard to keep!" I yelled at her. Her smile started to fade and she snarled, "Arizona no one held you hostage in the on-call room with me, you chose to stay and lock the door. All I suggested was that you were allowed to lose a little control. Obviously I did what your so called wife couldn't!" The next thing I know my fist is launched and lands square in the middle of her face, breaking her nose immediately on impact and she falls. I take 2 steps to her now bloody body and say, "Don't you EVER speak badly about my wife! You know nothing about our relationship or what we have been through together. I WOULD BE DEAD IF IT WASN'T FOR MY WIFE, SHE SAVED MY LIFE!" Oh my god what have I done?

Lauren just laid there on the floor looking at me, her nose was still bleeding. While the rest of the board members are looking on. Avery handed Lauren a towel for her face and finally broke the silence saying, "I think I speak for the board when I say Dr. Boswell your service is no longer needed in this hospital and I would like you to leave before I have security escort you out." With that Lauren sucks her teeth and leaves the room. Jackson then turned toward me and said, "Dr. Robbins you need to take some time off and get your life together. As of today you will be obligated to see a trauma counselor and you will also be placed on temporary leave, effective immediately." Nothing anyone can say can break my heart any more than it is now. With that I just nod my head letting Avery know I understood, causing Jackson to nod back, place a hand on my shoulder and leave the room. Derek, Meredith, Bailey and Christina said to call them if I needed anything and left. "Oh my god what have I done?"

Callie POV

Sofia and I have arrived in Boston without any problems, and Sofia slept the through the entire flight. When we made it to baggage claim to retrieve our luggage, walked outside the front, and saw a man holding a sign that read, "_Dr. C Torres_". We walked over to the man where he introduced himself, "Hi! My name is frank and the hospital sent me to retrieve you and your daughter." Frank then grabbed the luggage, put it in the car, and informed me we were on the way to the hotel.

When we arrived at the hotel, Sofia and I ate, I ran her a bath and then we snuggled on the sofa until her bedtime. Once I realized she was sleep for the night, I ran a bath for myself to try and attempt to relax after such a stressful day. I grabbed a glass of wine and soaked in the tub until the bath water finally turned cold. I crawled into bed and I just couldn't shut my mind off, therefore I cried. Before I knew it sleep overtook my body.

I awoke to my phone blaring Arizona's ringtone. I rolled over and hit the ignore button, letting it go to voicemail knowing I was not ready to listen to anything she had to say. I realized that I had a voicemail from Addison wondering where that hell I was, and letting me know that Arizona called her crying telling her everything that had happened. Ending the voicemail I decided to give Addie a call. She picked up after the first ring and said, "Nice of you to call me and let me know you guys got there ok." I said, "Addie I'm so sorry. Making sure I got to the hotel and getting Sofia fed bathed and put to sleep, I wound up taking a bath, drinking a glass of wine and crying myself to sleep. I woke up to my phone blaring in my ear."

"Callie," Addie said softly "I am so sorry for what she has done to you." "For what Addie? For all the verbal abuse I took and hatred from her? Is that what you are sorry for? Or the fact that she cheated on me? Arizona wouldn't let me touch her for damn near a year Addison, but she could have sex with a woman she's known for all of two days!"

"I just wanted to let you know that Arizona called me, and I listened to her for a while. Callie her best friend Teddy has left and she doesn't have anybody." "Addie she has her parents and all her plane crash friends to talk to. Instead she calls you when she knows you are my person! Well what did you say back to her Addison?" "I let her know that I couldn't tell her where you guys are, that she needs to get some help, and she should leave you be for now until she can get herself together. What are you going do about Sofia? because I don't think Sofia should lose another parent here?" Addie says. At this I roll my eyes.

"Arizona didn't care about Sofia when she chose to ignore her after the plane crash. She wouldn't acknowledge Sof for months Addie MONTHS! She didn't consider Sofia when she fucked Lauren Boswell. Now did she? So please Addie you're either my friend here or hers, you choose because I can't do this anymore. I need time!" I yell into the phone. I could tell Addison was defeated. She sighed into the phone and said, "Callie I'm here for you, I promise" There was that word again, _promise. _"You know promises are made to be broken Addie. Trust me, which is why I'm in Boston instead of Seattle… All because of a promise. I will never make another one even I know I'm able to fulfill it" I said. We said our goodbyes and I told her I would call her sometime tomorrow.

After hanging up with Addie Sofia woke up crying for her momma. Since her momma isn't here, I cuddle her and rub her back to soothe her until we both fall asleep. Next thing I know its 7:15 in the morning and Sofia is tapping me on the face saying in a sing song voice, "Mamiiii, Mamiii." When I open my eyes Sofia starts to giggle, I tickle her and ask her if she's hungry which she nodded yes! With that I called room service, ordered some pancakes, eggs, toast, juice, milk and finally some desperately needed coffee.

After we ate breakfast and got ready for the day, I gave frank a call telling him that I wanted to go search for a home. I also called a real estate agent who told me her name was Samantha and she would meet us at the first property in an hour. After about 6 hours of looking at different places, I fell in love with a two story home with a wraparound porch on 3 acres of land. It is a 5 bedroom (the master bedroom with bathroom to die for double sink with a Jacuzzi tub and large walk in shower) 4 ½ bathroom with a 3 car garage. The kitchen was the icing on the cake seller with its state of the art appliances with an island in the middle of the kitchen with a double oven. The living room had a high ceiling with a built in fire place. There was a study with one wall having a built in book shelf. The back yard had an outdoor stone grill under a canopy, a brick fireplace, and an Olympic sized in ground pool with a slide. The bonus side to the house was its 20 minutes away from the hospital. This was it. This was the house I wanted!

I looked at Samantha and told her I would take the house and I would be paying in cash. Samantha smiled, shook my hand and told me she would give me a call as soon as the paperwork was ready to be signed. Next, I asked frank to take us back to the hotel and that I would need him tomorrow to go searching for a car. "Frank it shouldn't take me that long, I already know what type of car I want." Of course I'd want a brand new Range Rover. Where he just smiled into the rear view mirror and replied, "No problem, Ms. Torres I'll be here tomorrow morning at 11 to pick you guys up!" Once we got out of the car Sofia and I waved goodbye and went into the restaurant in the hotel for dinner before heading up to our room.

I gave Sofia her bath for the night and got her ready for bed. Once Sofia was asleep I ran a bath for myself, grabbed a glass of wine and soaked while I thought about the house I just bought. I laid there wondering why I bought something so big and the tears filled up as I thought about Arizona and how I miss her. Why did this have to happen to us? Why did she sleep with Boswell? Did she hate me that much? Was she evening the score for a broken promise and lost trust? Why couldn't she have just talked to me? I tried to make her feel beautiful every possible way I could.

The hatred that came out of her mouth and the look in her eyes as she offered to cut off my leg to even the score wasn't my Arizona. She was just the outer shell of my Arizona. That Arizona died out in the woods. When I finally realized the water was cold, I got out, got dressed and crawled into bed. I Looked up at the ceiling and said, "Damn it Mark why aren't you here? Why did you have to die?" with tears streaming down my face. I looked over to Sofia and she immediately snuggles into my side as sound of her soft snores filled the room. "Maybe we'll be just fine…" I said into the quiet room.

* * *

A/N So what do think? I hope you like it.

A/N To address TwiceNow: Hi, I erased it the first time because I felt you were right over Sofia and the adoption. I am sorry I did not get that is my first time writing and I know that is no excuse. But anger does a lot to a person. I myself have a very hard time with infidelity. I don't believe in cheating. Everyone for this character has it all based on PTSD. I have a hard time with that too because I simply do not understand it. In my view, Arizona knew right from wrong when she decided to lock the door. Remember it is just a story. Doesn't mean I agree with show. Thanks for your opinion.


	3. Chapter 3

**I own nothing. These characters belong strictly to ****Shonda****!**

**A/N - Thank you to providence26**

**A/N Thank for taking the time for reading my story and giving me your opinion. **

**Chapter 3**

Arizona POV

Cristina looked at me, and said, "How could you? How could you break up your family? Torres loves you more than anything. She made the hardest call of her life Arizona, telling Alex to amputate your leg while she was in the middle of Derek's surgery. Lexie and Mark died and you said she lost nothing and let's even the score? What hell is wrong you? Clearly you need help and you continue to deny it that you do not.

You could have gotten help when we all went." Arizona said, "You all went to counseling?" "Yes as a group and individually, we came to you and we tried to get you to go. Callie begged you. You refused everyone's help Arizona. You were so bitter. We know we lost Mark and Lexie, but we are also grateful to be alive. However, not you Arizona, you hated the world and continue too. Why?"

I sat there and just could not move when I heard my father say, "Arizona is this all true?" I filled up with tears and said, "Yes sir." "Didn't Callie know you were not seeing Lauren?" It was that one night for 15 minutes that destroyed my life even more. I never wanted her. I do not know why I ever turned around and locked that door. What the hell was I thinking? That is just it I was not. How would Callie know I never went out with Lauren!

I only talked to Lauren because of the cases we worked on together. Avery found a way to keep her around. Avery and I had words over Lauren hanging around and then Avery said my personal life is not his problem. This is just professional Robbins. I told her to stay away from me. However, every time Calliope saw me at the coffee cart or cafeteria, Lauren just happened to be around, no wonder she thinks I was with her.

Callie POV

The day started out nice as Frank picked Sofia and me up to get a new Range Rover for us. I picked out a black one with all the bells and whistles on it. We said our good-bye to Frank and thanked him for all his help. My phone rang and it was Samantha letting me know she had the house papers for me, ready to sign and get the keys. I signed for the Rover and Sofia and I were on our way to Samantha's office to sign house papers. Once I finished with Sam, I thanked her for how fast she took care of everything for me. She shook my hand, gave me her business card, and said if I needed anything to let her know.

Finally, we are on way to the furniture store to fill the house. Since I left everything in Seattle, I needed to buy everything. I called Addie while shopping for a living room set to let her know what was going on. Addie offered to fly to Boston for a couple of weeks to help shopping, and set me up. I happily accepted. I told Addie to text me flight information so I can pick her up at Logan airport.

I bought the living room set along with Sofia's bedroom set, and picked out my bedroom furniture. I set up everything to have it be delivered the following day so we could get out of this hotel. I returned to the hotel for Sofia and me to relax. I order us pizza for dinner. Sofia and I were watching Dora the Explorer when I heard my phone go off and I knew who it was by the ringtone, so I chose to ignore it again.

Sofia went to bed easily tonight since we have done nothing but running errands trying to get us into our home. As I lay down, I was thinking of all the things that needed to get done before the furniture was going get delivered. I was so happy Addie was coming, I knew she would be a great help with the shopping but not the painting. Sleep finally hits me. Next thing I know my baby is crying for her momma. Oh Sofia, momma is not here baby girl I am so sorry honey. Come on Sofia snuggle with Mamie. We will get through. I kept repeating it and I filled up with tears. I miss her to honey.

I woke up early and snuck out of bed so I would not wake Sofia. I went to use the bathroom and call room service for breakfast for us. My phone is blinking and it is a message from Arizona asking me to call her, I hit delete, I also got a text from Addie, she lands at Logan tonight at seven pm. I decided to text the Colonel and let him know that Sofia and I are safe.

I thought 'Awesome Sofia and I will go get the paint for the house so I can paint her room and my bedroom before we go get Addie. Then one more night in the hotel and we get to move into the house tomorrow since the furniture will get delivered.' We head to the paint store and are looking at colors', I choose soft lavender for Sofia's room and soft green for mine. I purchased the rest of the supplies I will need to get the job done.

Just as I finish it is time to get Addie from the airport and Sofia and I are on our way. I hear the announcement that her flight landed safely and we wait. Next thing I hear is my name being called and I look to see the red-head with a big smile as she wraps us up in a hug. Sofia reaches for Addie to be held and Addie gladly takes her. I grabbed the luggage and off to the car we went. Addie looks at me and said "Wow, new Range Rover, nice wheels." I laughed, replying, "Yeah I have always wanted one of these so why not? Hell, I am on the east coast with lots of snow to come this winter and I am sure four-wheel drives will come in handy, besides it is one of the safest and with having Sofia why not?" I filled Addie in on what I did today she said she could not wait to see the house.

We go back to the hotel and ordered room service and I got Sofia ready for bed. Addie and I stayed up late talking about how things were. "Well Callie, I am glad that you are ok. I know you are hurt and angry at everything now, but I have to tell you something happened to Arizona out there and let us face it she has not dealt with it. I cannot even imagine what she went through." "What Addie? Are you taking sides?" "Look Callie, I love you, but do you hear yourself? I know, I get it, I cheated on Derek ok. I was not in a plane crash, so I get it, I don't know why she cheated but I believe her when she said it was a mistake that it meant nothing." "How am I suppose to ever touch her again when she let someone else have what was mine? Huh! Addie what do you want me to do? I miss her Addie I do, she was it for me. I do not know if I can forgive her. It hurts so much. I just want to call her and hear her voice, but I know I cannot. Besides, I filed for the divorce. It's over, it's just over Addie, and now let it go."

"The Colonel said she has refused to sign the divorce papers, he replied to my message. Callie maybe just maybe it's good she waits." "What do you mean its good she waits? Isn't she getting help?" "Yes, she started to see at Grey Sloan Memorial right away. The board has put her on paid leave for two weeks to start, and then she can work and continue to seek therapy. In addition, I really think once you get settled you should look into talking to someone so you can better understand the trauma Arizona has been through.

You experienced trauma firsthand with your car crash and that woman never left your side.

I was a witness to what she did for you and how she fought Mark for you and Sofia. Did you know Mark told her she was **nothing** Callie? Nothing, he said she was **nothing** and then told her she did not have any rights and they were to save you because you and he could make another baby. Do you have any idea how she must have felt? Callie, I am not telling you this to make you feel guilty, all I am saying is that she has been through a lot and I know you are the love of her life. Mark apologized to her but she knew how you felt about Mark.

She did not want to come between you and me think she thought you might choose Mark over her. Let's face it Callie you always put him first. She struggled with it but I also know how much she loved you. Sometimes I do not think you ever saw that. Mark stayed between you, and well let's just say, you had blinders on when it came to him. Did you ever consider she has survivor's guilt? That you wished it was her and not Mark dead?" I was now sobbing and could not believe what Addie was saying. "Oh my god what have I done, Addie? I am just as wrong in this relationship as Arizona." "Oh Callie, I am only telling you this because she still has hope for you and Sofia, she wants it all back." "How do you know this Addie?"

I sat and listened to everything Addie said as the tears flowed down my cheeks. I asked "Addie, how come no one ever told me this before?" "Arizona asked us not to. You two have never really discussed everything and how you really both feel. When Arizona came back from Africa and she finds you pregnant with Mark's baby, and then it took a bit for you to take her back. The car accident, then Nick her childhood friend shows up with cancer.

Next, Karev is leaving so she punishes him by taking him off the plane. Did you ever stop to see how she blames herself for all this? Cal I know you have said it before, that this is her own doing. That she has never really talked to you about any of it, she just made the decisions without consulting with you. Therefore, by her not signing the divorce papers maybe you still have hope. Callie, I know she loves you and Sofia more than life. I know you are still in love with Arizona. She has without a doubt hurt you and broken your heart. But Callie, she has been through something terrible."

"Why Addie, does it seem like only her who was not happy to be alive then?" "Because she is the only one who suffered with permanent disability. You were able to repair Derek's hand. When she looks in the mirror she sees what the plane and what you took from her. I know this is difficult and honestly, I do not know how you held it together this long, but you also need counselling to better understand what she is going through.

Nothing and I mean nothing excuses her behaviour of sleeping with Boswell. I also know when you made the decision to leave you were so angry and heartbroken. Since Arizona is in therapy and getting, a better understanding of what has happened and trying to find out why, maybe just maybe you can call her to see how she is after you have started your job. I think this part of the decision you made to move is probably the right one.

There has been so much sadness and loss in Seattle. Arizona has called and keeps begging me to let her know where you are. And I promised you, I had your back." "Addie, I would always choose her, always Addie." "Cal you need to tell her that not me, but are you saying you forgive her and will take her back?" "Yes Addie, I mean no! Damn it Addie. I have already taken the job and bought this house what am I going to do?"

I think you needed to move to be honest, and I feel deep in my heart that you can get through this and so can Arizona but it will take a lot of work from both parties here. I think you looked into Boston for work because her parents are from here. And you still want Sofia part of their life. I am sure they would be more than willing to help and let's face it, Dr. Arizona Robbins is the best pediatricians' surgeon in the country and if there is an opening down the road she would move here in a heartbeat."

We awoke the next morning more tired from the stress of bedtime conversation that I do not think either of us slept well. As we take turns showering and packing up to check out of the hotel so we can get to my new home my phone rings and it is the chief from Boston General. "Hello Chief, how are you?" I said. " will you be able to come in two days from now to take care of the paperwork the HR department has, sign your contract and get your office settled?" "Yes Chief, I will. A friend has flown in to help me set up my house. And I will be able to set up day-care when I come in, then I can start work next week on time as planned."

Addie asked who was on the phone and I let her know it was chief and he wants me in two days for paperwork. "I had it put in the contract that I needed to be able to leave the hospital no later than 7pm for now and no weekends at this time. I agreed to be on call once a month. Sofia and I still have a lot of adjusting to do." "Good deal on the contract, Cal."

"Addie, are you all set to go? I cannot wait to show you the house." "Let's go," she replied. I pulled into the double driveway and Addie said "This is gorgeous, Callie, just gorgeous." I chuckled and said "Wait to see the inside Addie, you are going to love it."

We get out of the car, grab Sofia and some luggage, and go into the foyer. I hear Addie say, "You have to be kidding me, this place is beautiful. Just look at the living room with the fireplace. Cal how many bedrooms did you say?" "Five bedrooms. I can't wait to show you them, but first let me show you the kitchen, it's one of my favourite rooms." "Oh Callie, this is just gorgeous and comfy in here." "Okay Addie, look out the back at the in ground pool and a full deck with built-in barbeque pit and grill. You have a two-bedroom guess house. Yes, let's head to master bedroom."

Addie yells "Callie I am moving in with you!" I started laughing at Addie. "You would never be happy here, leaving your beach house behind. Let's just say you have an east coast home always and I have a west coast home always." Addie agreed and I laughed. "Hey Sofia, come on, let's sit out back until the furniture arrives and you can run around and play while Aunt Addie and I watch." An hour later and Sofia is all tuckered out, which is a little nice since the furniture movers are here and setting up our bedrooms.

Addie and I ordered lunch and fed Sofia, we decided to go do more shopping to fill the other rooms once the movers left. We also needed to stock the house with food. I received an email that my boxes that were shipped. Sofia clothes and mine should arrive tomorrow with Sofia's toys I decided to take. I left everything else for Arizona. "Addie, are you ready to go do this.

I want to order the kitchen set. Outdoor patio set and one more bedroom set. Everything get delivered tomorrow. Let's finish up and go home, put the food away and order take out get Sofia to bed and set up the kitchen and I will make you a wonderful breakfast in the morning." "Deal let's do it but we have to stop and fill the wine bar up too. I need some wine to sit and relax tonight."

When we got home and into the house, my phone starting ringing and I knew who it was, and I looked at Addie and she said "Cal, think about just sending her a text." I nodded. It was around seven pm, I fed, and bathed Sofia, put her in her new room and rocked her to sleep. I grabbed the baby monitor and went downstairs to clean up.

"Addie you want a glass of wine?" "I already have us some, come on let's sit and talk. So Callie this house is huge and I started thinking back to last night talk. I think you bought this house with Arizona on your mind. Why else is it so big?" "Addie really?" "I am just asking Callie, no part of your brain was thinking of her coming here?" "Addie she will never leave Seattle." "You never know Callie, things change, people and circumstances do too. It could be the best thing to happen to both of you." "Addie you are jumping the gun here.

I am going to go shopping online for my home entertainment center, so they can come and install the big screen and surround sound and to hook up a TV up stairs as well." Addie laughed and said, "You have spared no expense here." I chuckled and said, "I know. I am going to do this right because I have no plans ever to move again." "Never say never Callie!"

When I finished placing the order, I heard Sofia whimpering through the baby monitor and went to see her. She was laying there asking for momma, I picked her up and said, "Sofia, Momma loves you baby girl, and we will talk to her soon." I cuddled and rubbed her back until she fell back to sleep.

I found Addie asleep on the couch and put a throw blanket over her and she softly said "Thanks." I went in the kitchen and opened my phone and decided to send a short text to Arizona. Addie came into the kitchen so I closed my phone and never hit send. Addie said a little later that she needed to get back to work in LA. That she hated to leave but she had to. She booked her flight to leave tomorrow. Addie said, "Why you don't check with the Colonel and see how she is doing with ?"

Arizona POV

When my parents and I got home, my dad said, "We have to get our stuff out of Mark's place, Callie has sold it. The realtor has given us until the end of the month." I looked in the envelope and there were the keys to the apartment. I opened the door, started to cry, and walked right over to Sofia's room. I noticed Callie had taken a lot of Sofia's toys, all her clothes and left the furniture. I guess that was to torture me more as I stood and cried for what I did to my baby girl.

Then I walked into the bedroom and looked around I noticed all of Callie's clothes are gone. All the photos are gone except two, the one of Tim and me and the other one on Callie's side was of the three of us, me, Callie and Sofia. I picked them up, rubbed my fingers over it, and just said 'I am so sorry, so sorry Callie.'

I walked into the bathroom and all my stuff was there as I turned to walk away Callie must have forgotten her Harvard hoodie she loves. I immediately stripped off my jacket and put on her hoodie and pulled it too my nose and just breathed in Callie. I went and curled up on the bed and just cried. I was so thankful my parents gave me some space.

I slid my hand under the pillow and pulled it closer to me and I fell asleep. When I woke up and rolled over I found a paper and I pulled it out and saw it was from Callie.

Dear Arizona,

By the time, you get this Sofia and I will be gone to start our new life. I want you to know I had to leave. I cannot tell you how sorry I am for breaking my promise, but I am not sorry for saving your life. We lost Mark and I was not about to lose you and look what happened, I lost you anyway. I guess you evened the score by breaking our vows. However, I guess if I lost my leg then you would be happy? I do not understand what happened in the woods because you refused to talk. I asked you to get help you refused. You ignored Sofia for months and called her my daughter. You treated me like crap and were hateful.

What I do not understand Arizona is how you could take it out on Sofia, and I somewhat allowed it when I should have forced you to get help. I also have no clue about PTSD either, but I am going to learn. You need to see someone, so do I and I will when I get settled and start my job.

When you did not come home for the first two days after the storm, I knew you chose Lauren. I thought sleeping with her was bad but to continue to stay with her. It was the last straw Arizona, for you to rub it in my face. I knew I could not stay and watch that, when did you fall out of love with me? Were you consumed with so much hatred for me that you had to rub it in? I would have done anything for you Arizona, you were it for me. I loved you with two legs or one leg, no legs it did not matter to me.

Did you ever stop to think you have blamed me for all your decisions? You never discussed it with me really, when you won the Carter Madison grant. Then you left me. You come back and then were angry that I was pregnant. I did not cheat on you, it just happened, we were drunk, I was broken hearted over you, I am sorry you were hurt but I will never be sorry for Sofia. You, and only you, took Alex off the plane and put you on it. Whom did you blame? Me! Your friend Nick with his cancer too far gone, who did you leave to fix him? Then he dies and you check out on that too.

You would not even let me mourn Mark. My best friend, whom I had sat with Derek and watched him take his last breath. Not once have you ever asked me what I went through when we were told your plane never made it. On the other hand, how your parents dealt with the news that their only child left might be dead. I would have thought you would have been happy just to be alive, Arizona. Again, I have guessed wrong. Why couldn't you just have been honest?

Arizona, I am not, and will not, keep Sofia from you, but you must get help. You need to get better but you also need to know I will not allow Boswell to help raise her either. So now, until you seek help I will not allow you to see Sofia. I am sorry, but you said you would cut off my leg to even the score. Why couldn't you tell me you wanted out? You knew I was cheated on before and you were too. Why, just why Arizona?

You said the night of the storm that I was not on the plane and you are right I was not; you also said that I lost nothing and that is where you are wrong. I lost my best friend, the father of our daughter the one person who never judged me. Moreover, I lost a friend in Lexie. Last, but not least, I lost the love of my life, my wife.

I will be in touch with your father to see how you are after I am settled. I will send him updates. I already let him know I would not keep Sofia from him or your mom. I really want to hate you but I cannot. I do hope you get better and that she makes you happy. Maybe one day you can forgive me for saving your life.

Callie

After I read that, I just was sobbing and my mom came in the room and I handed her the letter. "Oh Arizona, I am sorry." "Mom, I said I was never with Lauren, how could she think I chose her?" "Arizona why didn't you come home? She said you waited until the third day. Now I have a better understanding where she is coming from, because I was very angry with Callie with what she did and how she did it, for me this letter explains it all. And she is right Arizona you need help."

I walk into the kitchen and my dad handed me coffee and asked how I was, he said, "I read the letter Callie left for you Arizona. I have a better understanding now of why she left and I cannot say that I blame her. Why did you ignore her sweetheart?" "Dad, please, I cannot do this now." "Okay honey, but I made you an appointment with a that your chief recommended. You start tomorrow." "Dad I am not ready!" "Arizona you are going and you are going to get your life back.

You are a surgeon you need to find out why and you need to understand what PTSD is. Your family has just left you and you are going to start right away to get your family back. Your mother and I will be staying for at least a month. Now I have everything out of Mark's apartment. I am going to take down Sofia's crib and put the furniture in storage and set up a bed for your mother and me. Once I see you are doing better we will go home. But not until then."

I knew better than to argue any more with my father. So I said, "Okay. You are right. I need to do this, especially for Sofia." "No Arizona," Mom said, "First, you need to do this for you and then Sofia." I started to cry and tell my parents how sorry I am. "Sweet heart," my dad said, "We're here for you. Let us order dinner and call it an early night. Your appointment is at 11 am with ."

"I am not really hungry I am just going to bed. I will see you two in the morning. Good night Mom, Dad."

I decided to get a shower and try to wash off the day. I saw my shower chair in there and started to cry again. Even through all her anger with me she continued to take care of me. She had my parents here for support knowing I would need them and left me the shower chair set up. I sat there with hot water beating on thinking 'Oh Calliope, I am so sorry. I have been so stupid and blind, thinking my life was over and just blamed you when it is entirely my fault, my own doing that has done this. I do not want to be alone for the rest of my of life.'

All I kept thinking was, 'You are my dream, you and Sofia. Your dream became my dream and I lost track of all that. I am not signing the divorce papers yet. She will have to wait.'

Morning came and I was dreading going over to the hospital and showing my face. I knew the whole hospital would be talking and that just angered me more.

My dad said, "Good morning Arizona, here is some coffee to start the day. You ready to start and try healing today and working on getting your life back with some proper control?" "Yes dad and no. what do you know, I don't want to walk through the hospital and have everyone stare at me. I hate knowing I am their topic of conversation after yesterday's melt down." "Arizona, you will hold your head high and walk through there."

Well the time has come for us to start walking over to the hospital. We get to the entrance and I take a deep breath in, said, "Here goes nothing." I get through the entrance and start walking to elevators; hit the up button and guess who it is, Cristina. I said "Good morning," to her as she looked at me and said, "Robbins I cannot take sides but you need to see Wyatt, she will help, so let her, don't fight it.

I have hope Callie might come around for you if you are honest about it all. Hold your head high Robbins, you survived a car accident and a plane crash. No shame, Robbins. You are just going to learn how to deal with it all." Before Cristina got off she said she will never admit to being so nice and will deny it to her grave, I started laughing, and "Your secret is safe Cristina." "Robbins, just get better."

When I reached office and went in, the waiting room was comfortable. I checked in, got my paperwork and started to fill it out. Next thing I know comes out and calls my name. " come in." "Please," I said, "Call me Arizona." "Okay. So, Arizona, what brings you to me?" "My wife left me with our daughter." "Arizona, come on, I cannot help you if you don't tell me why you are really here." I got mad and said, "You know why I am here, you saw my melt down." "Yes, I did see that but you need to tell me why you're here and until that happens we can just sit here."

"Fine, . I am here because she left me for sleeping with . I was in a plane crash and Callie broke her promise to me and had Alex amputate my leg." I said with anger and resentment. "Well, Arizona, I think we have a lot to discuss and I think we need to start at the beginning. You are very angry." "Yes, I know." "First, I know you are not here by your own choice. In addition, being forced to do this, we may not get great results. and the board will not let you back to work unless I clear you. I need you to honest with me Arizona because I think I can help you through this."

"Okay, I want to give you permission to discuss anything with my parents and Callie. I signed the consent form."

"How did you meet Callie?" "What does this have to do with anything?" I sad in an angry voice. "Arizona, I want to start this by getting to know what has driven you to so much anger and learn why your wife would just up and leave. I would like to make this a comfortable first day for you. Because it will only get harder. You are fairly new here, is that right Arizona, only a few years?" "Yes, that is correct." "Let's start with why you came to Seattle first." "Do we have to start there?" as her eyes filled.

"Yes, Arizona. I would like to start at the beginning so I get to know you as well and how you process." "My brother served time in Iraq and was killed while protecting our county." "I am sorry for your loss." "My ex-girlfriend cheated on me and said she couldn't take it any longer while I mourned my brother, I just couldn't get over him. He was my best friend." "So you never really mourned him or processed it all?" "That's right because it is so final." "So you left your girlfriend and came here for a fresh start?" "Right again. It was not until Calliope that I really mourned Tim and processed it.

She was there for me." "So you have come to terms with his death?" "I don't think I will ever get over losing Tim. I don't know anyone ever gets over losing someone they love you learn to live with it." "Okay, go on."

"We were at Joe's bar and I was sitting at the bar and just watching her. I heard all the rumour's in the hospital about how she was married before and he cheated on her, then Erica just up and left without a reason. She looked so sad sitting there and when she went into the bathroom I followed her. Introduced myself we chatted for a minute and I told her people would be lining up for her and she said, 'Like whom?' and I walked up and kissed her. Then I left walked out.

Then the next couple of weeks I knew she was avoiding me. One day, out of the blue, she walks up to me and asked me out on date and I found out she had only been with one woman before so I turned her down. Why? Because I have been in a relationship before when a woman thinks this is what she wants and actually, she is just experimenting.

Therefore, the next night I am out on date, Calliope comes over to me and tells me all her life experience, and I said, I am on a date and I pointed to my date. The look on Callie's face was priceless as she gulped downed her drink and left. I looked at my date and knew this would never go any farther and we decided to be friends as she proceeds to say I should ask Callie out.

I had a few very bad days at work and had my ass handed to me by my intern that day and Callie was on the elevator as I stepped in. I went to talk to her and she said, 'Arizona, this hospital is big and I can just avoid you.' The elevator dinged and I said, 'Callie wait, I am trying to ask you to dinner.' 'Really,' she said. 'Yes, would like to go out with me?' She just looked at me and said maybe. 'Maybe?' I said, she said, 'Yeah, maybe.' and started to walk away and then she threw her arm in between the doors and said, 'Yes I would like to go out with you.'

I sat there with goofy grin remembering all that. interrupted my memories with, "I think this is a good place to stop. I want to see you again tomorrow. Arizona I am not going to lie today was easy and things will get very hard but we will get through them together okay? Remember I am not here to judge you, okay? Tomorrow we will address the issues of you not wanting kids, and the Carter Madison Grant. So be ready. I want to you to be able to work through all the stuff you have not bothered to slow down and process or avoided altogether. So it gets hard and I am sure there will be tears but remember Arizona, we have to go through it to process and heal."

"Bye, , I will see you tomorrow and thank you." "You're welcome, Arizona."

"Hi, Mom and Dad, you ready to go?" "Yes, Arizona. Let's go get some lunch and a few groceries." "Okay, Dad." "I love you honey."

Callie POV

It has been 8 weeks. I decided to text the Colonel to let him know that Sofia and I were safe and we were doing fine. I asked him to please ask Arizona not to contact me at this time as I am trying to come to terms with what has happened. Just tell her I said to please sign the divorce papers. I told him that I was sorry to put him in the middle of this.

"Callie, it was so good to finally hear from you. I am glad you and Sofia are getting settled. Arizona has seen since you left. Callie, she has refused to sign the divorce papers now. I know you want them signed but please be patient, maybe there is a chance for you and Arizona. Please don't pressure her until she is more stable. With you leaving, it crushed her. I am not saying this for you to feel guilty. I understand your need for a fresh start. Just give it a little time."

A\N I have no medical knowledge on counseling just going with it. I do not mean to offend anyone if you do not agree, or if I have any of it wrong. Thank you reading.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: The characters in this story aren't mine and they belong to ShondaRhimes and producers of Grey's Anatomy

A/N - Thank you Jackie for going back and doing the spacing.

A/N - Thank you to all the follower, favorites as well giving reviews. I appreciate the feed back.

A/N - I am changing the rating to M

**CHAPTER** **4**

Arizona POV

We all got back home and my dad asked how things went? "Fine dad we talked about Tim and why I came to Seattle. Dr. Wyatt said she wants to start at the beginning so she understands who I am and how I process things."

"Sounds like a great plan Arizona."

"Yeah, just great." I mumbled. After dinner I went straight to bed.

I awoke to hearing the rain hitting the windows and thought 'Oh, just wonderful, this will be a great day.' I rolled over and glanced at the clock, it read 8:30am. I should get up, shower and go face another day. I get to the kitchen and the smell of coffee. I saw my parents sitting there chatting and they both stop to look at me, I said "I am so sorry you have to go through this."

My mom came over, "Arizona, do not apologize okay? Look honey we love you and only want what is best for you. You will get through this."

We head over to the hospital and my parents say they will be in the cafeteria, to just text them and they will meet me at the entrance when I am finished. I get to Dr. Wyatt's office and I am sitting there thinking how grateful I am for them. Just then I hear my name. I walk in and say good morning and Dr. Wyatt says "How are you today?"

"Good I guess. I really want to talk to Callie. She's all I think about, along with Sofia."

"Okay, we can discuss you trying to contact her at the end of today. Alright, let's get started. So things with you and Callie were going well and then you won the Carter Madison grant?"

"Yes."

"Congratulations on that Arizona."

"Thanks."

"So what happened?"

"Well, when I applied for that I was single and at Hopkins then, honestly, I forgot about it. But I accepted it, and never even considered Callie's opinion. She was so upset. We got into a huge fight. Then she came to me and said she would go with me for the three years. So, we had a plan and well she was becoming miserable and picking fights. I saw all the signs but I chose to avoid them. She really didn't want to give everything up, but she did. Once we got to the airport we were fighting and I stopped and looked at her and told her she was ruining everything for me. That she needed to stay here and be happy, and I needed to go without her and be happy. I just walked away without looking back."

"So, three months later you're home?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I came to my senses, that wasn't my dream anymore. Callie was my dream. I missed her and knew I was deeply in love with her. Don't get me wrong, I loved helping the kids, doing things and seeing them was wonderful, but I could not focus. I cried every day for Callie."

"So you stayed in contact with her while you're were in Africa?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I thought we needed a clean break. I emailed my parents regularly and Teddy."

"Who is Teddy?"

"My best friend here, but now she is gone too."

"Gone? Gone where?"

"I guess she left after they knew we were found. Since the plane crash I haven't heard from her."

Dr. Wyatt made some notes then said, "Then what happened?"

"I came home and found Callie pregnant with Marks baby!"

"I see. And how did you handle that."

"Well, Callie wouldn't even talk to me at first. I begged and groveled to her. Finally it was Mark who told me that I bail when things get tough. And he was right I do. Finally, I don't know how, but I did get Callie to talk to me. I paid to get our apartment back. Callie was still living with Mark, oh how I hated that. I thought she continued to sleep with him, and it just ate at I found out she wasn't through Teddy and I thought there was hope. When Callie saw I was moving into our old apartment she screamed at me to get out and leave her alone because if she let me back into her life she was sure I would hurt her. AND LOOK, NOT ONLY HAVE I HURT HER, I BROKE HER HEART. What kind of monster am I?"

I had tears flowing down my cheeks. "Arizona, you are not a monster. You are not a bad person. You have made some poor decisions. This is where I will come in and help you understand."

"Callie came over to talk to me and asked me if I was in or out with her being pregnant. I said some not so nice things to her but I couldn't walk away, I love her so I said I was in. I can tell Mark was not happy about that, nor was I happy about him, or raising their baby but I just could not walk away from Calliope."

"Arizona, I have a question for you. You were here for the shooting?"

"Yes."

"What happened that day?"

"Why, Dr. Wyatt, are we going there?"

"I want to cover everything so we can address the issues that led to you being here today."

"Callie and I split up because I didn't want kids."

"Why didn't you want kids?"

"The kid thing first broke us up then the shooting and finally Africa. I was scared after losing my brother and saw my parents so defeated. I see the parents that come in here with some terminal kids or bad injuries. I didn't ever want to go through that. So we weren't really speaking to one another at the time. Callie was my hero. She stood between me and the shooter while I covered our patient with my body. She walked up to him and spoke with him gave him bandages and asked him to leave and he did.

I was so scared and Ruby our patient could not see my face as the tears rolled and Callie put her hand to my face and spoke so softly to me. As I pulled myself together, once they told us the shooter was dead we needed to check on all our patients and help move them to another hospital.

We finished putting Ruby in the ambulance and I went to walk away and Callie said we don't have to have kids, 'I cannot live without you,' and I looked at her and knew I couldn't live without her either and I said 'No, no we will have 10 kids,' and I kissed her. Then that damn grant. What the hell was I ever thinking?"

"Ok, well that explains some things with why you are in or out and raising Sofia. I think this is enough for today and I will see you tomorrow and we will cover the car accident and Sofia's birth. Then I think we will see what kind of schedule to set up. How does that sound to you? You seem to be handling this pretty well so far. Now as far as you trying to contact Callie,"

"Wait, I brought you something to read."

With that I handed her the letter Callie left. Dr. Wyatt read it and said, "You have to be prepared for her not to respond right away. I just want you to know this in advance and I will be here for you. Why don't you try emails and don't be too upset without a response ok?"

"Okay, bye, Dr. Wyatt." I texted my parents and met them outside the entrance.

My mom said, "Hi honey, how did it go today?"

"Fine. We covered a lot of things, me leaving for Africa, the shooting, not wanting kids and coming home to find Callie pregnant with Mark's baby."

"Wow. That is a lot in a day."

"I know but I am starting to understand why she wants me to go through all this. So I can get a better understanding of why I run and avoid the hard things. I have to get better for me and for Callie and Sofia. God, Mom. I miss them so much."

"I know honey, you will get there. One day at a time okay?"

I decide after dinner to email Callie and let her know I am seeing Dr. Wyatt, hoping to get a response.

Dear Callie,

Please let me know that you and Sofia are okay. I am seeing Dr. Wyatt. I have seen her since you left. I gave her consent for you to talk to her. Callie I am going to get better for me, but most of all for you and Sofia. Please don't give up on me. I love you. I don't even know where to start other than to tell you how very sorry I am for what I did.

Callie, why wouldn't you let me talk to you? I want and need to try to explain what is going on. I know I am wrong Callie and made the biggest mistake of my life and should have been honest with you. I didn't come home for the first two days because I was devastated and ashamed. I couldn't look you in the eye knowing I broke your heart and our vows. I was not with Boswell; I stayed at Alex's with Jo there. I didn't know what to do. Please Callie, call me. I miss you and Sofia terribly.

Avery told her to leave and so did my dad. Callie I swear to you. I don't ever want to see her again.

Arizona

Ps. please Callie "Sofia, is my daughter too!" Cal I love you and Sofia, please know that. I know you know Owen put me on 2 weeks paid leave to get it together after my melt down. Please call Dr. Wyatt to check my progress. I want to see Sofia. I know I have to get better for myself before I can be better for you and Sofia. Calliope, I love you and will always love you. I want us back! I want our family back. This is why I cannot at this time sign the divorce papers. Please give me a chance.

Arizona

"So Arizona, good to see you today. You look a little better, are you sleeping okay?"

"Yes, thank you."

"So, did you email Callie like we agreed?"

"Yes, I did."

"Has she responded?"

"No, not yet."

"Okay, well, give her some time."

"Yeah, I know."

"Well, let's get started, how are you feeling with everything we have discussed at this time?"

"Well if I had to do it all over again, I would do it all differently. I think I still would have come to Seattle. Things were just not good when I left and I really think I needed the change after Tim passed and with my ex Joanne. I sat with my parents and we discussed Tim, about his life and his death. My dad had a hard time with it but said if it would help me heal he would talk about it that alone was nice. We laughed and cried over Tim and that helped. I told my parents more about Joanne. While they listened to me, I realized that I was never really in love with her. My parents never liked Joanne. They were upset that I was hurt but glad to see Joanne go, especially since meeting Callie and what true love is. I think I didn't want to say I wasted 3 years in that relationship and my parents said I didn't, I learned and have grown as a woman. As far as the grant, I would have never accepted the way I did.

I would have spoken with Callie before making such a big decision. As we are going through the steps of my life I am learning how selfish I have been in the relationship and feel ashamed."

"Arizona, the important thing here is you are feeling and understanding what has happened in your life, coming to terms with it and putting it all in perspective. Where the old Arizona would not be doing this."

"But that's the problem. Everyone loved the old perky Arizona who used Heelys. I will never be perky again or have Heelys."

"Now come on, you are a bright doctor and know that other amputee patients run, swim and do everything else you can do if you have two legs, why are you selling yourself short? You have to want to get better for yourself. With a lot of hard work here, with me and physical therapy you can do anything. Okay, I want to talk to you about Callie and being pregnant."

I smiled, and said, "When I went to the first ultra sound and saw the baby I fell in love with her. I knew I was all in from that moment. I glanced at Mark and he looked at me and just smiled. Callie was beautiful being pregnant except for the times she wouldn't let me touch her, which was frustrating because she thought she was fat. I never thought that, but everything was Mark this and Mark that, I found it so hard. Mark could do no wrong, I got so mad one night when Callie said something about Mark and then said 'What Arizona, what is the problem?' and I said, 'You know what, this is not my dream! You got it all, the baby, the girlfriend and Mark!' When it came time for the baby shower, which I just hated to do but I did it. Of course Mark tried and showed me up. When it was over, Callie came to me and surprised me with a B&B for the weekend to get away. We get on our way and Mark is doing nothing but texting her. I asked her to stop and she wouldn't. I took her phone while I was driving and threw it to the back seat and she got mad. I was upset and the next thing I know she took off her seat belt and I proposed to her. When I went to look at her and then looked up we hit a truck and Callie went through the windshield. That was the worst day of my life at the time. She almost died and so did Sofia and it was me that got Sofia her first breath. Mark and I had a lot of words over saving Callie or Sofia and he told me I was nothing and I called him the sperm donor, but in the end he apologized to me."

"Did Callie know all this happened as well?"

"Hmm, no I said not to tell her anything."

"Why?"

"I didn't want to upset her or I guess I was afraid she would pick Mark. Then when Callie came to, her first words to me were yes and I just looked at her and she said, 'Yes, I will marry you.' And that became the best day of my life. We got married a few months after, Sofia was able to come. We worked out a way with all 3 of our schedules to take care of Sofia and day care. Things slowly were getting better between me and Mark but Callie seemed to be having a hard time because I continued to feel like the third wheel. So I started hanging out with Mark and we would cook. Well one night, Callie came home from work with beer and pizza and Mark said we already have dinner. She walked over and threw it the trash as our jaws dropped and said 'I love you Mark and you're great with our daughter but enough! Arizona is my wife and you are here all the time and interfering with our sex life.' I just stood dumbfounded as Callie continued and gave Mark a piece of pizza and told him to start having sex, but not tonight because he was taking Sofia. Callie looked at me said, 'I love you and I miss you.' I filled up with tears and said 'Thank you.' Callie said, 'I am sorry I haven't' done it sooner. You are my number one girl along with Sofia.' That night she made love to me like there was no tomorrow and then we ate pizza and beer in bed it was AWESOME!"

"Alright Arizona, I take it we are about to get to the harder stuff."

I shook my head.

"Let's discuss Nick coming to see you and then stop until next week. First how are you feeling with what we have covered?"

"Well, we have been through an awful lot. I feel okay. Like talking with you and my parents about Tim and Joanne and finally mourning Tim has helped, looking back on Joanne and putting it all into the right channels."

"Okay, once we stop, I will notify the chief if you want to go back to work on the condition we see each other once a week, because next week we will cover the plane crash right up to your amputation."

"Nick was a childhood friend. He was Tim's best friend and mine I guess you could say. I hadn't heard from him since Tim passed. He showed up out of the blue and he is dying, full of cancer. Callie couldn't help him with the bone cancer and Teddy couldn't help his heart, it was so far gone and spread through his body. While he was recovering from the surgery we thought we would help Nick. That's when I found out my resident was going to Hopkins for his fellowship. I was so angry with him that he was leaving too. I know that he needed to do what was best for him but when I didn't; now I know why I was angry."

"Why?"

"Well, since we have talked, because he is like my brother and two of the men in my life who were very important left me. For Alex passing his boards I was giving him the gift to fly to Idaho, but when he told me he was leaving, I took it away from him and took his spot on the plane. Again I never even considered Callie; I just told her I was leaving. I never even said I love you, because I was angry she couldn't save Nick either."

"Well, it seems Arizona you hold Callie high up on a pedestal."

"Yeah, I guess I do."

"You do know she is not God right? Arizona, let's stop here, now. I want you to take the next couple of days off. Still talk to your parents and I will tell the chief you can go back to work for now and I will see you next week. We will talk about the plane and your four days in the woods."

"Bye, Dr. Wyatt. Thank you. I will see you next week." With that I left, upset and happy. Happy, because I could at least go back to work now too. I am so tired with all this emotional feeling and reliving this. How am I going to get through talking about it? Just then my dad showed up.

"Arizona, what's wrong honey,"

"Well. I can go back to work, but next week we are going to talk about the plane, Dad and being in the woods. I just don't know if I can."


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: The characters in this story aren't mine and they belong to ShondaRhimes and producers of Grey's Anatomy

A/N – Thank you Jackie for your hard work!

CHAPTER 5

CalliePOV

I started work today, and I am a little nervous. "Oh, how I miss Mark! What would he say?" 'Walk tall, Torres, you got this. Walk through those doors like you own it.' I was smiling when I reached the doors, and the security guard said good morning. "Good Morning" I said, "I'm Callie and your name?"

"Tommy, ."

"It's nice to meet you Tommy."

"You're new here ?"

"Yes, today is my first working day here."

"And who is this pretty little lady?"

"My daughter Sofia. Say hi Sofia," Sofia giggled and buried her head in my neck. "Well Tommy I have to go get Sofia to day-care I'll see you around."

"Have a good first day ."

I reached day-care and signed Sofia in. Sue was at the desk, "Nice to see you again . I have the paperwork; we just need you to finish signing everything. Is there anyone else you want on this list for pick up?"

"No, not right now."

"This is Katie, and she will be here as one of Sofia's helpers."

I got a little choked up leaving Sofia, Katie came over and said, " she is in good hands and it is best to just leave, she will calm down and we will page you if there is a problem."

"Okay." I said, and left with tears in my eyes as I hear Sofia screaming for Mamie and Momma, my heart broke.

I made it to the ortho floor and met my nurses and intern. Tracey is the head nurse in Ortho and walked me to my office. "Now that you are here , here are your keys to the office and as you see a pile of charts for you to review. When you are done, I will take you on rounds to get familiar with things here. Oh, , Katie from daycare called down to tell you that Sofia has calmed down."

"Thank you, Tracey."

I called Addie to talk about me texting Arizona. "It's been 12 weeks, Callie, I know you're not ready but Sofia just cries for her and it is just not fair."

"Ok, Addie, I will text the Colonel and see how she is doing and what is going on and decide then. I will call you and let you know what the Colonel said okay?"

_Colonel, hi. I was wondering how things were going? Is Arizona seeing a trauma counselor? Sofia and I are doing fine. I have been seeing a therapist. I started work and Sofia is adjusting to daycare. Please let me know about Arizona._ Hit Send.

Beep; **Yes Callie, she started seeing Dr. Wyatt. She is helping Arizona and well, she is working through it all one day at a time. Barb and I will stay for another month once I am confident she will be okay on her own without too much depression. I know she is missing you and Sofia. When we get back to Boston what are the chances of coming to visit you girls? Let me know Callie, Barb and I love you. Give Sofia hugs and kisses from us.**

_Colonel, do you think it is okay if I send her a text? I do not want to trigger anything or set her off_. Hit send.

**Let me ask Dr. Wyatt Callie. before you do okay?**

_Okay, I will wait until I hear from you._

I opened my laptop checked my emails and noticed the ones from Arizona and decided to read the first one

Dear Callie, I do not even know where to start other than to tell you how very sorry I am for what I did. Callie, why wouldn't you let me talk to you? I want and need to try to explain what is going on. I know I am wrong Callie, and made the biggest mistake of my life and should have been honest with you. I did not come home for the first two days because I was devastated and ashamed. I could not look you in the eye knowing I broke your heart and our vows. I was not with Boswell, Avery told her to leave and so did my dad. Callie, I swear to you. I do not ever want to see her again. I stayed at Alex's with Jo there. I did not know what to do. Please Callie, call me. I miss you and Sofia terribly.

Yours truly

Arizona

Ps. please Callie "Sofia, is my daughter too!" Cal, I love you and Sofia please know that. I know you know Avery put me on temporary leave to get it together after my melt down. I am seeing on a regular basis since you left. In addition, gave my permission for you to contact her anytime to show you I am trying to get better. I know I have to get better for myself before I can be better for you and Sofia. Calliope I love you and will always love you I want us back! I want our family back I am sorry cannot sign the divorce papers at this time. Please give me a chance.

I sat there at desk and just re-read the email and decided to wait until I get home to respond. I got up and went back to finish my shift. All I could think about was the email and picking up Sofia. The afternoon went by fast, I was glad to go get Sofia.

I fed Sofia dinner, played with her, gave her a bath and read her a bedtime story. Once I said good night I went and grabbed a glass of wine and got my laptop to respond to Arizona.

Dear Arizona, First, let me say that I am happy that you are in therapy seeing . Sofia is doing fine and I will admit she misses her Momma! We really have a lot to discuss.

I was also glad you answered some questions for me without me asking them. Being why you never came home for the first two days. I honestly thought you had chosen her over your family and that is one main reason why I am here. Although I have only been here for 3 months and started working and Sofia settled into daycare.

Arizona I need time please understand this. I know it is not what you want to hear at this time, but please I need this. I have a suggestion and hoping you will accept this. How about I read the emails one at a time and respond to each email and we learn to communicate with each other and be honest over what has happened. Sofia misses her Momma. All I can handle right now is a text and emails I re-read my note and once satisfied I saved it until I heard from the Colonel.

With the sun shining in my eyes, I hear Sofia babbling for Momma. I thought, "At least she is not crying today." I throw the covers off and the cool air hits me as it is near the end of September. I go to the bathroom, freshen up, and grab Sofia so we go to start breakfast. I look at my phone and see I have a response from the Colonel.

Callie, said she was grateful that you asked first not upset, Arizona and she said yes to emails and text. said she would also like you to call her, so you can discuss some things.

After feeding Sofia and cleaning up the kitchen, I went into the living room with Sofia and put Dora the Explorer on. I sat and texted the Colonel back:

_Okay, I will call Dr. Wyatt first. Oh, and Colonel, it would be great for you and Barb to come by just let me know when. Hit Send_

It is now or never. I called 's office and I was "connected" right away. "Hi, I am glad you called."

"Please call me Callie."

"Okay Callie, Arizona's father called me and said you were going to contact Arizona through text."

"Yes I was."

"Have your read your emails?"

"Umm yes, to be honest I finally just got settled into my new home and started work. I was just catching up with them and I noticed the ones from Arizona. I was getting around to reading them and responding to the first one when the Colonel asked me to wait until I spoke with you."

"Callie, Arizona gave me permission to discuss her sessions with you. Ok. Well first I would like to say I am sorry you both going through all this."

"Please, . I just want her to get help if she wants to see Sofia."

"Well, she is getting the help she needs but she also has hoped to save her marriage to you as well."

"I take it you're aware of her infidelity too?"

"Yes, but we have not gotten that far into therapy. Arizona comes in next week and we will be talking about the plane crash, being in the woods and the amputation."

"Oh, I see. How long has she been with you that you are only up to there?"

"She has been therapy for three months. We have started at the beginning so I could get to know her and her thought processes. Callie, did you know she never really mourned her brother? In addition to that, Joanne cheated on her as well?"

"Yes to your question on Tim. As far as Joanne, it is somewhat funny, wouldn't you say? So for Joanne cheating she pays me back huh? Yes, I did know, but what? Are you making excuses for her?"

""No, Callie, I am not. I do not' like cheating, it is wrong. However, I am not here to judge anyone. It is my job to help her process and find out why she has done it. , Arizona has just figured out who LaurenBoswell is?"

"What do you mean?"

"She is the woman who slept with Joanne to pay Arizona back."

"Pay her back for what?"

"Well, when they were in med school Arizona wouldn't date her. She has held a grudge since it appears. When we were talking, something triggered Arizona's memory over her relationship Joanne. Therefore, we called Joanne from here so she would not have Arizona's phone number. Okay, well Joanne informed Arizona that after she left, she and Boswell got into a big fight and Boswell said that Arizona didn't deserve to be happy."

"Wow, is all I can say to that! Therefore, it seems Boswell is obsessed with Arizona. Until she gets what she wants she won't stop?"

"It appears to be that way . Only Arizona knows why and well, we are not there yet."

"Well we will see whether she will be honest with you, because God knows she hasn't been honest with me!"

"I am sure she is Callie. This has been extremely painful for her."

"Of course only Arizona has experienced pain here, I get it."

" , please, that is not what I am saying at all. We have discussed you meeting each other, the CarterMadison grant, Africa and not wanting kids. As well as Mark with you being pregnant and the car accident. We have discussed Alex, Nick, why she took Alex off the plane. Did you know she felt like a third wheel in your marriage due to Mark?"

"Yes, but I always chose her and Mark knew that."

"Okay. Did you know when it came to the saving you or your baby Mark told her she was **nothing.** And Mark wanted to save you; he said you and he could make another baby?"

"Look, , Mark is dead and I will not do this."

"Callie, I am trying to give you insight into where Arizona's mind is at and how she viewed things, as well as issues I do not think she ever got over or healed from."

"Okay, I honestly just learned what happened when I was in the coma from the car accident from my friend . Apparently, Arizona told everyone not to tell me."

"Yes, that is what she said."

"But why?"

"She did not want to upset you. I feel she did not want to lose you. Arizona is now aware of her selfish ways, she is very remorseful for her behavior and not telling you how she has felt or feels. Arizona runs when it gets hard that what she learned growing up. No full commitment since her family moved all the time. This does not excuse her behavior at all. But she has now processed up to the plane crash and is aware of her faults and how to make it better in the future."

"I see...So Arizona has emailed me, is it okay for me to respond to her email? I don't want to set her back."

"Yes, and you can call her and text her. Callie please don't mislead her if there is no hope to save your marriage. I know you gave her divorce to papers that she will not sign. She has hoped you two will work through this."

At this l was laughing and said, "What's so funny?"

I replied, "Between her parents, , as well as my therapist, and now you, I am getting pressured to reconcile."

"Oh you're seeing someone too?"

"Yes I wanted to understand the trauma she went through and what I did wrong for her to cheat."

"Callie please don't' blame yourself here. Callie, Arizona has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."

"Okay, you labeled it. That does not change the fact that she willingly locked the door in the on-call room now does it. She knew right from wrong! She made a choice, , a choice to screw Boswell. In addition, she chose Boswell over her family. She also knew I was cheated on before as well. Arizona and only Arizona chose to break her vows! I feel like it is pay back because according to Arizona I broke her trust by breaking my promise not to cut off her leg. I will never be sorry for saving Arizona's life . These were her decisions and only her decisions that others have to pay for because of her. Arizona chose to walk away from us. So if she has PTSD that is fine but it does not excuse what she has done and I do not think I will ever accept that as a reason."

"Why don't you call me again next week after I see Arizona? That will be when we discuss the plane crash. You know what happened out there right?"

"No Dr. Wyatt, she refused to talk to me or get help when the others did. Hell she wouldn't even acknowledge our daughter for months she called Sofia my daughter."

"Really she has not mentioned that?"

"Yes, and she continued to blame me for taking her leg. She refused to see the saving her life part. She only saw that I broke my promise. I promised her I would save her leg. It never should have been made, asked of me, but she did and I did, and I broke it to save her life. I could not bear to lose her. Losing Mark was one thing but to lose my wife… I had to do everything I could not to. Hell, look where that got me, I lost her anyway."

"Thank you for the insight. I will be touch with you next week. Good bye."

I hung up with and played with Sofia while I thought about my phone and Arizona. I put Sofia down to watch TV opened my laptop and hit send on my letter to Arizona.

I sat there tossing my phone back and forth thinking, 'I can do this.' I look at Sofia laughing at the TV. I filled with tears thinking how Arizona is missing all this. That is when I knew I had to call her. I hit speed dial to call and she picks up immediately. I could not even say hello, I was just quiet and Arizona said, "Callie, are you there? Please answer me."

Softly, I said, "Yeah. I'm here."

"I miss you Cal, please talk to me."

I did not think I would be so emotional, when I heard her voice. Through my tears I said, "we miss you too.'"

"How are you? How is my baby girl, Cal?"

I did not get a chance to answer when Arizona said, "Did you read the emails I sent?"

"I read one and I just responded to it."

"Okay I will check later. There is so much that I am learning about myself and how I screwed up so much Callie."

"Look I know we need to talk but not right now okay? This is our first step with being on the phone. Arizona let me get Sofia for you." I put her on speakerphone and shut the TV off. I was laughing through my tears as Sofia was looking all over for her Momma. She started babbling, yelling "Momma," and I heard Arizona crying.

"Okay, I took you off speakers. Hey, please do not cry Arizona. Listen I know you are seeing and are doing better. I called earlier. In addition, well she said it was okay to talk with you. I did not want to upset your healing process."

"Thank you for that."

"I want to ask you something, are you still seeing Boswell?"

"OH GOD. NO CALLIE. It was only that stupidest, most awful night where I lost my mind and lost you. I love only you Callie, only you forever."

"I have been seeing a therapist also."

"You have?"

"Yes and Addie has been helping me."

"What do you mean Addie is helping you?"

"She has been listening to me, making me understand some things. She has also filled me on some stuff that we will discuss later. I have to go now Arizona I have to be in early."

"Okay Callie. Thank you for calling and I will check my email and keep you updated on my progress. Good bye."

"Until we talk again, good bye Arizona."

I went to bed and I laid there with my phone when it beeped Callie_ thank you again for tonight. You have no idea how much it meant to me to hear Sofia and your voice. I know it was hard for you. I miss you Callie and I know you may not be ready for me to say that but it is true. It is one of the most honest feelings I had. I have so much to say to you but Dr. Wyatt said I shouldn't go too fast as I work through this. Good night Callie_

I decided to wait and respond to Arizona's last text. I was not sure and wanted to sleep on it. I did not want her to know how excited I felt just to be texting or after hearing her voice. Both and said not to get our hopes up. However, I have said; it felt nice to hear her voice. I fell into a deep sleep, which I have not had in awhile.

After having breakfast with, Sofia and getting her to day-care. I went and spoke with Tracey and looked at the surgery schedule. 'Okay,' I thought, 'not too bad, let's get this done.' Two knee replacements and one shoulder before lunch. After scrubbing out, I was fast walking to 's office for my lunchtime visit.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer The characters in this story aren't mine and they belong to Shonda Rhimes and producers of Grey's Anatomy

A/N - I have reloaded this chapter due to missing words. Thank you Taz6 for bringing it our attentions. I apologize.

A/N – Thank you Jackie for your hard work! I know it is not easy.

Chapter 6

Callie POV

"Hi, how are we today?"

"Good, Dr. Kelly and please call me Callie."

"Well, Callie we are 8 weeks in here and how do you think you are viewing things?"

"Well, first let me tell you that I have received emails from Arizona and I called her last night and put her on speaker for Sofia."

"And how did that go?"

"Well, let's just say I cried as soon as I heard her voice. We did not get into anything and she stayed to that. Sofia looked all over for her and started calling for Momma and Arizona just broke down. I felt horrible and guilty."

"Why do you feel guilty?"

"I took Sofia from her."

"Okay, let's address this now. Callie you did what you felt you needed to do to protect yourself and Sofia. I think Arizona will come to understand this. You did not just jump up and run away. She pushed you and you responded. Sometimes it takes something like this happening to see. I think you put on blinders and so did Arizona. You both never really addressed the issues at hand and swept them under the rug."

"You're right."

"So we are going to lift the rug and take some things out so we can get rid of it for good. Okay, so the call went well and then she texted you, is that right?"

"Yes."

"Have you responded?"

"No. I didn't want her to know how she still affects me and how excited I was."

"See, Callie? This is one of your problems; you are now not being honest. Why can she not know? Callie, if there is any hope with you two you need to stop always protecting yourself and let her in on everything. Good, bad, happy and sad."

"That's just it, I don't want to give her false hope. I also called her therapist at her request. Arizona has given her permission to tell me everything."

"I see. And how did the call go?"

"Well, at first it was okay and then I got angry and now some of it makes sense."

"Okay. Why don't we discuss the phone call then proceed to you."

"We can't unless Arizona gives permission."

"How about I sign a consent for you to discuss with me and I will see if Arizona with sign a consent to discuss her."

"Alright that sounds like a plan."

"Then let's discuss this. Do you think there is hope for you and Arizona? Will you be able to forgive her?"

"I don't know. How will I know it won't happen again when someone flirts with her that she won't jump into bed with them?"

"Callie you will have to learn to trust her again. That will come over time. Little steps okay. So we have covered everything up until the plane crash."

"The worst day of my life."

"Tell me about how Arizona decided to take Alex off the plane."

"She was pissed at him over leaving for Hopkins. She never even asked how I felt. We had an argument earlier that day over her friend Nick, that he was too far-gone and both Teddy and I could not' save him. I found her in an on call room crying, we talked, and she said she just could not watch him die. I held her as she said that she could not do this. I told her what she couldn't do I would. Then she walked out without saying too much. Then Alex happened. Therefore, that night I got home, dressed up in my sexy lingerie for when she came home. But she never came home. I got a call from Chief Hunt telling me the plane never landed. I grabbed Sofia and ran over to the hospital. When I saw Bailey, I started to hyperventilating and she came over to help me. On day three, I was trying to prepare myself for the death of my wife and my best friend. Then on day four, we got the call they found them. Five survivors, one deceased. I remember crying and praying it was not Arizona but I did not want it to be any of them. We were all friends. When the helicopter came, Arizona was the last one-off and I just started bawling. Arizona was drugged for the ride as they all were. That is when we found out it was Lexie. Then I started to think of Mark. Mark had chest injuries, Derek had hand injuries, Meredith foot I think and Cristina nothing other than not sleeping for the four days. Arizona had broken her femur and it had broken through the skin. I found out Arizona splinted her own leg; Cristina tried to keep the bugs out. It was so badly infected and the tissue and muscle damage was extensive. Therefore, I came up with a plan to save her leg. We never discussed the amputation if I could not save it. She begged me to promise that I would fix it and like a fool, I did, trying to give her hope to live. God I was so stupid."

"Callie, don't do that. Do not put yourself down."

"But as a doctor you don't make promises I just didn't want to lose my wife. Therefore, a couple of days pass by and she is doing fine. I had lunch in her room before going to do Derek's hand surgery and said good-bye. Next thing I know I am in the middle of the surgery, Alex is coming into my O.R., and said Arizona is crashing and it is the leg. I stopped and looked at him and ran all these other ideas by him and he yelled, 'Torres, it's the leg she needs it to be amputated.' I gave the go ahead to amputate. I knew deep down she would never forgive me and on top of that I screw up Derek's hand."

"Wow. Here, have some water," as she passes the tissues as well.

"When Arizona came around and I had to tell her she threw me out of her room and things have never been the same."

"Okay, but we need to talk about those things."

"Well, when she was well enough to come home, she didn't allow me to touch her or sleep with her. Sofia became my daughter, she would not acknowledge her. It broke my heart that she was taking it out on Sofia, she did not understand. Then Nick passed away and I had to tell her. She would not even say a word; she just lay in the bed, staring at the wall and threw her food at me when I brought it in. She fired all the nurses. During that time Mark had slipped in to a coma. Mark had on file that after 30 days to pull the life support off, and requested I take care of all that. I had no idea he put my name there. So Derek and I sat there until he took his last breath. I went home and told her and she would not say a word. She refused to go to his funeral. All she did was scream at me to shut up and for Sofia and me not to talk to her. I could not even mourn Mark. I cried in silence. Derek had been there for me. Which was nice. Derek did not want me to leave Seattle either but I just could not stay anymore. One day I came home and found her on the bathroom floor sitting in her own urine and of course, it was my fault. That is when I snapped at her, lifted her up, threw her in the shower, clothes and all and screamed this is my life too. She would not let me help with any part of her recovery, so she would not let me be her doctor or her wife. So my wife died out in the woods too. I sat there crying. I do not know what happened in the woods, she completely refuses to talk about it. A few months later, after lots of screaming matches, she was finally back at work. We are talking, watching TV, no snuggling or anything, and I know I pushed a little here for physical side. I needed to feel my wife, to hold her, kiss her. I was so grateful she was alive, but she was not the same and boy, she never let me forget it. Then Boswell comes and flirts with her. Three days later, she is fucking her in the on call room through a huge storm while a bus almost blows me up. I was looking all around the hospital for her. I finally found her on the Peds floor when Boswell walks up and I look and I see Boswell is wearing Arizona's scrub top with her wedding band pinned to it and when I went to question her, the lies that came out of her mouth were unreal. I could not move at first. Then I ran and Arizona caught up to me in the doctors lounge and we had it out with Arizona's last words to me 'you lost nothing,' and 'you were not on the plane this has nothing to do with you,' and the last blow was 'let me go get bone saw to even the score.' That is when I knew we were over. Then I arranged to take a couple of days off, grabbed Sofia and went home. Arizona did not show up for three days. That is when I decided to leave and file for a divorce. I knew that she had chosen her. I could not be in Seattle anymore and watch that, or hold my head up high any longer. Not after everything that has happened. I needed a fresh start. I also knew I was kind of running, but I needed to breathe."

I chuckled through my tears and said, "You want to know what the best part is?"

"What is that Callie?"

"I asked her last night on the phone, I asked if she was with Boswell and she said no way, she hasn't seen her since that night. I just found out why she never came home those three days."

"Why?"

"She said she couldn't look me in the eye because she knew she broke my heart and vows, that she was ashamed."

"Okay. How do you feel about it now? "

"I don't know. When she did come home I refused to let her speak to me or to explain when she tried. I threw her out, said she could go to Mark's apartment and stay there or go to the hotel. However, if she chose Mark's place, Boswell could not be there. She never said she was not with Boswell then, but I in my anger had no patience and would not let her talk. Well, that is on me, but I do not think at the time it would have mattered after everything that had been said in the doctor's lounge. I was angry when I left. I am happy I moved. I miss her terribly but I don't know if I can trust her."

"I see. And she hasn't signed the divorce papers yet?"

"Nope, she said she had hope for us and I didn't say anything. I do not want to give her false hope of us getting back together. Her therapist said she has high hopes of getting back together."

"And what do you think?"

"Again, I don't know how I feel. I know you have taught me to slow down and really think before making a decision. Dr. Wyatt labeled it PTSD. I believe with everything she has been through that would be correct. Yes but that does not change that she chose to lock the door and screw her! God damn it! She made a fucking choice here. I will not accept PTSD."

"Callie please calm down. I hear you okay, I do, but there is a reason she did what she did. Something snapped in her mind. I am not excusing her okay. I am not here to judge I am here to help you to understand. Okay, look, I believe she does have PTSD, Callie, whether you like it or not. Arizona has been through a great deal of trauma and you need to understand. I am not saying what she did is okay by any means. But, Callie, you need to listen and then make a decision. Only Arizona can tell you what happened. Okay. I will tell you what, if we get permission for me to talk to Arizona, I will ask her what she thinks and we will go from there. Let's call now and find out?"

I call and am put straight through; I let Dr. Wyatt know she was on speaker with and me. I introduce the Doctors to each other.

"Callie, what can I do for you?"

"Well, I am giving permission to you to talk about my sessions with her, and we would like to know your opinion of me asking Arizona about coming here for the holidays? I don't want to upset her therapy at all."

"Okay, the only thing I can say since Beth is listening is I will discuss it with Arizona and let you know how she is feeling about it."

"In addition, can you ask her for permission for you and Beth to talk as well?"

"Yes I can do that she will be coming in tomorrow and it will be a very tough day for her I think."

"Okay."

"Callie, I cannot even tell you how happy she was that you responded to her email and called her."

"That's good, thanks for letting me know."

"Good bye Beth good talking with you and I will let you know. Okay, bye for now."

"Okay, in the meantime I want you to continue to answer her emails, text and call if you want. Little steps Callie, I will see you tomorrow."

I left her office and felt so frustrated over all this. I headed over to the surgical wing to start my next surgery. I finished the repair to a shoulder. When I was scrubbing out, I got a page to the E.R. I walked down there for a patient on his motorcycle vs. truck, we rushed him to O.R. and he died on the table. After that, it was time to get Sofia and head home. I am emotionally drained.

I got to day-care and Katie said Sofia did not seem herself today. ""She wasn't interested in eating or being social today."

"Okay, thanks."

Sofia saw me and was calling, "Mamie."

"Yes, baby girl?" and she started crying, snuggling into me and saying, "Momma."

"Oh baby, she is not here, I am sorry." That is when I started thinking of Arizona again. Sofia felt a little warm.

We got home and I tried to feed Sofia but she just would not eat. I took her temperature and it was 101. I gave her some children's Tylenol for the fever and put her in the tub for a quick bath. Once Sofia was dried and put in her pajamas, I rocked her until she was fast asleep. I left her room and took a shower for myself, grabbed a glass of wine, I opened my laptop and decided to respond to another email. Before I could, my phone beeped, it was Arizona.

Callie hi, I hope you had a good day. How is Sofia today? I read your email after we got off the phone I know you need time. I like your suggestion to respond to my emails but I have to tell you that some of them are the same, emails trying to get you to notice me, just letting you know.

Arizona, my day was okay. I lost a patient. Sofia is not feeling well, she did not have a good day today either. I picked her up at day-care and she cried for you. Sorry, I did not tell you that to make you feel bad. She will not eat and she is running a fever of 101. I gave her Tylenol and a bath and she went right to sleep.

Callie, I am sorry about your patient. you don't have to say you're sorry for Sofia crying for me. I did this to myself. However, I am worried about Sofia please keep me posted okay?

Arizona thanks for the concern. I will keep you posted on Sofia. I also want to tell you that I was glad I called the other night. I have missed your voice too. Beth, my therapist, yelled at me for not texting you back earlier and telling you the truth, that I was glad to hear your voice so I am telling you now since we are to be honest.

Callie, I chuckled a little about Beth but she is right. I am learning this myself. If I had just been honest with you, maybe we would not be here. I am on to the next god-awful step, to talk about the crash. I hope I can get through it.

Arizona you can do this. I hope it goes well. However, I am going to say good night for now and go read another email and answer it. Good night

Well that was nice for a change, even though we cannot hear each other, they were not mean texts.

I refilled my wine glass and got my laptop went to email. Let me see…

Dear Callie please answer me. I am so sorry Callie. I never meant to hurt you like that. I never meant to break our vows. That was not me. I do not know what has happened to me. I know that you broke your promise to me. Nevertheless, I have not been able to get past the leg. Yes, I know, the leg. The doctor in me knows one thing and the other me knows nothing. The one thing I know for sure is I love you Calliope! You and Sofia, you two are my life. Calliope, please try to forgive me. I know I have to earn your trust and when you are ready, I will tell you everything that happened. Please, Callie.

Arizona

Hi Arizona, I do not know really what to say right now because the truth is you did break our vows. Yes, I am more than aware I broke my promise. It was a promise you never should have asked of me! In addition, it was a promise I never should have made. We are told as doctors never to make a promise, but I knew you needed something to hold on to so I did, and I knew it would ruin us. I never thought you would be so hateful towards us and ignore Sofia. I am not saying this to hurt you or be mean. I just want to be honest.

I will never be sorry for saving your life and I will tell you that every time, I am still having a hard time with you wanting to even the score. Where did that come from Arizona, it was so hateful? You hate me that much to say that, yet you tell me you love me. I am glad you are getting help; I just pray you are being very honest with her. I did notice many of the emails are the same. I am going to delete them.

Callie

With that, I heard Sofia crying and went to her room and she was still hot. She would not settle down I paced with her for a while, she vomited all over the floor and me. I got us both cleaned up and she was still crying for her Momma. "Oh Sofia, come on baby, please settle down."

"Momma, Momma." I went and grabbed my cell phone and called Arizona.

"Callie, what's wrong?"

"Can you not hear her?"

"Yes."

"I am putting you on speaker ok."

"Sofia? Baby girl, it's Momma. Come on, baby girl, settle down for Mamie."

"Momma, momma."

"I know, Sofia, shh baby girl. Callie?"

"Yeah?" through my tears.

"Callie please listen; don't cry that will keep Sofia more upset okay?" After a few minutes, she settled down. "Cal, have you taken her temp again?"

"Yes, 102 it is up to."

"Okay it's been over four hours, give her some more Tylenol."

"She has vomited too."

"Okay, sounds like a bug that's all. Check with your day-care and see if anyone else has been ill."

"Okay. Thank you for doing this."

"Don't ever thank me for being there for you or our daughter Cal, please call me tomorrow and let me know how she is. Good night."

I decided to put Sofia in my bed hoping to get some rest. She snuggled right into me and slept until morning. I checked her temperature and the fever broke to a low-grade. That started to make me feel better. I tried to feed Sofia and she still would not eat, so I gave her a pedialyte pop to suck on. I ran her a bath, hoping to make her feel better. Once we were done with the bath Sofia laid on my chest on the couch as I listened to the news.

I was laying thinking about Arizona and the phone call last night just as my phone went off with her ring tone. "Hello," I said.

"Good morning, Cal."

"Arizona isn't it like in the middle of the night there?"

"No Cal, its 5 A.M."

"Why are you up?"

"I got called into the hospital. Avery said it was a high-profile patient and wanted me to consult. Then there was a pile up and he asked if I would stay and help. If felt good to work, but I do not think I am ready for full-time again. I do not want to rush this. I want to get better for you, my baby girl, and me. I have a few minutes and I was thinking about you and Sofia. How is she? Did you get any sleep?"

"Okay, hold on, let me answer you," I chuckled. "Sofia's fever broke to 99 and yes we both got some sleep, but she still won't eat. I gave her a pedialyte pop."

"Ok that is good."

"Don't you have to work today?"

"Yes but I called in sick, because day care will not take her and I don't know anyone well enough to watch her."

"I see. You know after today with , I am going to tell me parents to head home."

"Why?"

"Because I know you only live 15 minutes from them."

"Hmm, how do you know that?"

"Well, let's just say I looked into okay?"

"Yeah, right." I said laughing, "Okay."

"Anyway, I know they would love to help with Sofia. You know my parents love you and Sofia."

"Yes, I know and I told them that they would always have a part in her life."

"Okay, Cal, I have to go. I have a few patients to see then off for the rest of the day and seeing Dr. Wyatt."

"Arizona?"

"Yeah?"

"Call me. I know today will be hard for you, but be honest with her so she can help you put this all in perspective so you can heal."

"Cal I will. I want to get better for me and us."

"You can call me afterwards if you want to."

"Thank you Calliope, good-bye and give Sofia hugs and kisses from me. Bye"

Arizona POV

Arizona looked over at the clock and said, 'Oh great, time to go to Dr. Wyatt's office.' She texted her dad, telling him she was on her way there. Her phone beeped and it was her dad telling her to text him when she is done and he will walk over to get her.

Just as I was going to Dr. Wyatt's office, she called and said she had to move my appointment to the next day. I was relieved but I also just wanted to get this over with. I decided to go for a walk to the park and try to clear my head. I texted dad to let him know my appointment was moved to tomorrow.

I sat in the park for a while, thinking about where I am now in my life and how screwed up it is. I never imagined I would ever cheat. I still cannot believe what I have done. I miss Calliope and Sofia. I miss my life before the plane crash. I know we were not in the happiest place but we were working on it. Maybe a good night's sleep as I got up to walk home.

I walked into Dr. Wyatt's office the next morning just as she was coming out to see if I was there. She laughed and said, "I thought you might try skipping this appointment."

"Believe me I thought about it, but what good would it do us all?"

"What do you mean us?"

"Cal and Sofia."

"Oh."

"Dr. Wyatt," I said with a huge smile on my face, as she said, "You have something to report Arizona?"

"Yes I do. I have spoken with Callie and it has been nice."

"Callie and Dr. Kelly called me the other day to discuss you."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, I told Callie not to say anything to you yet."

"Okay, why not?"

"First, let me try to explain. I went over all our therapy sessions with Callie and told her you are diagnosed with PTSD. She asked if you would give me permission to discuss your therapy with Dr. Kelly and Callie. Now I want you to know she gave me permission to discuss all her sessions with you. Callie refused to try to talk about you with me on the phone in front of Dr. Kelly. And she is right; we do need your consent."

"Okay, where do I sign? You have it."

"Callie also asked about you going there for the holidays?"

"Wow, really?"

"Yes, Arizona, I think she is reaching out. You both will have a lot of talking and crying to do, but you have a chance to get your wife back."

"Callie called me the night before last because Sofia was sick and calling for me. She put me on speaker and I was so excited I was able to settle her down for her. I called Cal yesterday to see how they were and Sofia's fever broke. That was a relief. "

"All right then, let's gets started now that you have something to look forward to."

"One more thing, do you think it is safe to say my parents can go home now? I want them to go back to Boston to help Callie and Sofia now."

"Let us see how we end today's visit."

"Fair enough."

Callie's phone rang, while she was home with Sofia, it was Dr. Kelly. "Callie, Dr. Wyatt called me earlier and asked if you could come to my office today?"

"I am at home; Sofia had a fever, which finally broke."

"If it is okay with you, I will have my secretary watch her. Callie, Dr. Wyatt is asking Arizona if it is okay that we listen in on this session so that Arizona will not have to keep repeating herself."

Arizona POV

"Before we start, I want to call Callie and Dr. Kelly and put this on conference call if you will allow this?"

"Yeah, that would be great to get it all done."

"Hi Beth, its Sue, Arizona is here and she gave consent. I thought we would do a conference call so we all hear the same thing."

"Okay. The ball is in your court with Arizona while Callie and I will just listen."

Arizona said, "Hello Calliope."

"Hi, thank you for allowing this Arizona."

"Sure,"

"First, how is Sofia?"

"Her fever broke. Dr. Kelly's secretary is entertaining her for me, to allow me to be here."

"Okay. I am glad to hear that."

"Arizona, you were angry with Alex for wanting to go to Hopkins and you took him off the flight that you gave him as his gift for passing the boards. Is that right so far yes?"

"I just made the decision and never even consulted Callie; I looked at Callie and said I would be home tonight and left. I was so pissed at Alex how could he leave me?"

"Arizona why was it so important that Alex didn't leave?"

"Because he was my student and I looked at him as a brother and I had already lost one brother."

"Okay, continue."

"Well, we were part way in to our flight and of course Derek sits with Meredith and Cristina, Mark is sitting with Lexie and I am by myself. I never really fitted in with any of them. I think the only reason they even tolerated me was Callie. They were all her friends, never mine. Don't get me wrong they were always nice, we worked well together but we only hung out because of Callie."

"Okay, so again you felt like the third wheel."

"Yes."

"And Callie made you feel this way?"

"No, not always, but I didn't feel like I was her priority either."

"Keep going."

"We hit some turbulence and then Jerry yelled to put on our seatbelts, but it was too late, the plane started to rip apart and we were screaming as the trees came into view and the next thing I know Derek went flying out, then Meredith and Cristina and the plane broke in half. Mark and Lexie just dropped out of the sky and then the next thing I know I hear screaming and yelling and Cristina yelled at me to shut up. It was me screaming."

"Arizona, are you ok?"

"No."

"Here, take a minute." Dr. Wyatt passed me some tissues.

"Thanks." "Okay, what happened next?"

"Cristina and Meredith went looking for Derek while Mark took off the piece of plane that I was lying under, he helped to prop me up against a rock. When I saw my leg, he found some stuff to splint my leg. I told him to just give it to me and find Lexie. So I splinted my own leg. I was screaming and the pain was unbearable. Mark went to find Lexie who was trapped under the tail of the plane. Mark could not move it, Lexie was being crushed. Mark lay there with her until she passed away. He told her how he loved her and that he was so sorry. I only know this because when he came and sat next to me with tears rolling down his cheeks he told me. Next thing I know Derek and the girls come back, I was so happy they were alive. Mark told Meredith about Lexie and I just heard her sobbing. Cristina is the real hero. I think she found some supplies to build a fire and she kept us all awake for the four days. Cristina tried to pick the bugs and dirt out of my leg, she tried so hard." I took a sip of water.

"Here are some more tissues."

"Callie, are you there still."

"Yes, Arizona I am."

"Okay."

"Okay, are you ready to continue?"

"Yes. Jerry the pilot only lasted one day before he died. Mark was not moving well it was Cristina that caught it for Mark, a Cardiac tamponade once she relieved the pressure. They moved him near me and he put his head in my lap. We both cried and talked and apologized to each other. Mark knew he was dying and he was giving into it. He wanted to be with Lexie. We were there and at night it got so cold and you could hear the wolves fighting over Lexie's body and we cringed and silently cried. I have no idea how Meredith has dealt with that. I begged him not to give up; we needed to get home to our girls. That is what kept us going, I believe. He made me promise to take care of Callie and Sofia. I promised him I would, and look what happened, I broke it." I went to continue but heard Callie crying on the speakerphone. "Callie I know what you're thinking about the promise. "

"Please just continue, Arizona."

"Okay. I made him promise me to take care of them if I did not make it. Callie and Sofia kept us alive out there. I told Mark I am to best orthopedic doctor in country; she would find a way to fix it. I knew then deep down the chances of losing my leg then but I just could not imagine it. I just could not even bear to think about it. Next thing I know we are being rescued and are in an Idaho hospital. They wanted to amputate my leg then and there and I wouldn't let them. I just wanted to get home to Calliope. Then I made her promise not to cut off my leg. She promised me!" I yelled through my tears.

"Yeah," Callie's voice boomed through speaker "Like you promised Mark!"

Dr. Wyatt said, "Callie, you will get your chance. Please let her get through this."

"Yeah okay."

"All I remember now is when I awoke without my leg I threw Callie out of the room and wouldn't talk to her. After sometime in the hospital I was allowed to go home and Callie fixed the apartment the best she could to accommodate my new handicap. I was a bitch. I fired all the nurses and stuck it to Callie. I was so angry. She broke that trust. I know I ignored Sofia and I was wrong and God do I regret my behavior. How could I ignore my daughter? Callie, I am so, so, so sorry for the way I behaved and the things I had said. I find it hard every day Callie, because you fixed Derek's hand and you could not fix me. None of the others have physical scars and I do; every day I am reminded that I have no leg. How could you ever see me as beautiful or hot and sexy?"

"Because you're my wife, I love you no matter what Arizona. You are the love of my life and you are still gorgeous. Arizona, I told you all the time that you're beautiful."

"Yeah, but you're my wife."

"Yes, but I never lied to you Arizona. I know you see the promise as a lie but it is not Arizona. It was your life or the leg. I could not lose you. I told you before I will never be sorry for you saving your life."

"I know you said that and I know you mean it."

"Okay," Dr. Wyatt interjected, "What happened next?"

"Once I got fitted with the prosthetic leg and started doing physiotherapy, Bailey tricked me into coming into the hospital and that is how I got back into working. I lied to Callie and everyone at the hospital about how I really felt and tried to keep my anger in. We went to Bailey's wedding and I thought I would be ready for sex. I knew I was losing Calliope, she was slipping away from me and she needed to be loved and to feel it. All I gave her was hate. When Bailey was late to the wedding, she told us girls 'marriage is death', that is when I knew or felt like; she was done with our marriage. So I went and booked us a room and Callie had her hopes raised, only for them to drop when she walked out of the bathroom to see me still dressed. I just couldn't go through with it and I asked Callie not to run."

"Callie, what did you say when you saw that Arizona didn't undress?"

"I said it was fine, yes I was disappointed, but it wasn't the end of the world. I was not mean about it. When she asked me not to run I told her I wouldn't."

"That's true." I said.

"Okay." said both doctors. "Then what happened?"

"Well we flirted with each other."

"Who flirted?"

"Callie and I both did, we did a lot of touching and kissing but that's it and when I told Callie she was going to get lucky she got all excited. Another time, I was in the x-ray room and she came in, my back was to her and I was in so much pain with my leg but Callie thought I just did to get out of sex. I did not, and Callie saw that when she looked at me, and demanded I let her help me. I nodded and she went into her doctor mode and helped to relieve the pain. I got home before her that night and when she opened the bedroom door, she knew I was ready. The sex was okay, but I feel we both held back. I know I did, I was so nervous. I just could not see how she would ever want to touch me again. I am ugly and deformed." I was openly crying and Callie was sobbing.

Callie POV

When we both settled down Arizona said, "Callie, I love you." I did not say anything, I just could not right then. I was not trying to hurt Arizona by not saying it back, I just could not.

"So then Dr. Boswell has come in for a special case. She openly flirted with me and well I kind of flirted back and even in front of Callie, we did. Callie asked me if she had anything to worry about and I said of course not. However, inside, I loved the attention she gave me and she continued to hit on me. I told her several times I was married and had a daughter but she never respected that. She just said what Callie does not know will not hurt her. The big storm comes, we do the surgery, and Lauren asked me to show her the on call room, which I did. Lauren kissed me and I did kiss her back. I went to leave and Lauren said, 'Arizona, it's alright to lose control.' So I locked the door and started kissing her and we stripped and I fucked her."

I gasped, "And when she went to reciprocate. I refused and yelled 'Oh my God, what have I done?' I quickly got dressed and left and headed to the Peds ward. That is when Callie found me, Lauren walked up to me, and Callie saw Lauren had on my shirt with my wedding ring pinned to it. And now you all know."

Dr. Wyatt said, "Arizona, how do you feel?"

"Dirty, disgusted, angry and ashamed. I swear Callie she only kissed me I would not let her touch me. I am so sorry."

"But you still didn't say why."

"Callie, I think it was the thought she is an attractive woman and she did not care about my leg. You Callie, are my wife, l felt that you stayed out of obligation."

"Nevertheless, Arizona that is not true. I know what you're saying, but that is not how I felt."

"She thought I was beautiful no matter what."

"God damn it, Arizona! So it never mattered what I said? Is that what you are saying?"

"No, Callie, it is not. But you were obligated."

"No I wasn't damn it! You threw us away; you threw your family away. You know what Arizona? Fuck you and fuck Boswell. Go fuck her brains out. I have to go I cannot do this anymore I need to go."

Arizona yelled, "You're fucking running, Callie," through her tears.

I went to step out of the room, but looked back at Dr. Kelly. Beth looked at me and whispered, "Just listen."

I stopped and quietly closed the door to leave when I heard Arizona yell that I was running, and thought, 'she is right.' So I turned around and went back to listen, no matter how painful it would be. Beth put her finger to her mouth for me to be quiet and listen. It was not as if Beth was trying to trick Arizona, but she knew it need to come out for the women to heal no matter how painful.

Arizona POV

Beth said, "Arizona, I want to ask you something okay? It is not my place to judge, Arizona. I know this but, I do not understand."

"What is it that you want to know?"

"You never really made it clear why you locked the door. Arizona, do you know right from wrong?"

"Yes!"

"Well, you knew it was wrong and that you were going to break your vows to Callie."

"At the time, I was not really thinking clearly."

"Arizona, somewhere in your mind you knew, I think. I also think that you wanted Callie to hurt as much as you do. That you wanted to pay her back, for breaking her promise."

"Listen, , I do not like where this is going." said .

"Oh, I am sure you do not, but your patient asked me and I am telling her. So Arizona, am I way off base here or what?"

"Dr. Kelly , when you say it all like that…"

"Like what Arizona?"

"Yes, okay, fucking yes. I wanted her to feel the fucking pain of a broken heart for her breaking her promise. She made me a cripple! She broke my heart by breaking her promise, I trusted her."

"Arizona, you are a doctor and you know life or limb. Life or death. You would rather be dead. Moreover, what if it was Callie would you let her die?"

"No God damn it. No! What have I done? I cannot lose her."

"Let her process this."

"Oh MY GOD, CALLIE IS THERE?"

"Yes."

"Arizona, I am going to ask you some embarrassing questions if it is ok with you and Dr. Wyatt."

"Okay."

"When you were in the on call room with Lauren and about to have sex with her you said, you went first."

"Yes that is right."

"So here comes the embarrassing part, how did you do it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Were you on top?"

"No, that is what she wanted, but I told her to get on her knees. Dr. Kelly, why do you want to know this?"

"Well hold on and I will tell you. When you first had sex with Callie for the first time how was it?"

"I was on top."

"Okay, now I want you to listen okay? With Callie, you made love to her and needed an emotional connection as well as physical. When you decided to do it with Lauren, you just wanted straight sex without any connections, emotional or physical. Moreover, when Lauren wanted to return the favor your brain kicked in. Am I close here Arizona? In addition, if you look back on any of your flings, it was the same way."

Arizona was crying when she realized Dr. Kelly was right.

"I think I am beginning to understand."

Just then, she heard sniffling. It was Callie in the background crying, she had just heard everything.

"Callie." I yelled again and did not get a response and she did not say a word.

"Arizona," Callie said, "I am here, I didn't leave. Thank you, for opening up to us. I want to tell you something and I do not know if it will help or not, but the night Sofia was conceived and anytime before that it was from behind. I am only telling you this because when Beth said about the emotional connection and physical it made sense to me. It was just sex with Mark never anything else."

I was crying and heard some noise in the background, it was Dr. Wyatt, she got up and opened her door, my Dad was standing there as I was just sobbing. "Dad what are you doing here?"

"Callie texted me and said I needed to get over here right away. Arizona, I heard what you said with your yelling."

"Dad, please do not hate me, please Dad. I have no one."

"Oh Arizona, I could never hate you sweet heart you are my baby girl. If Callie hated you honey, she would not have texted me, just give her time to work through this entirely okay? You both need time."

"Colonel Robbins, I am Dr. Wyatt. Are you aware that Arizona wanted to be able to send you home to Boston."

"Yes, I am aware."

"I suggest you stick around until I see Arizona next week and re-evaluate everything. Okay."

"Dr. Wyatt?"

"Yes."

"It's Dr. Kelly, Calliope left and Arizona; please give her some time to process all of this. I want to thank you for sharing your very painful experience as I have a better understanding of Callie's experience now. I will be in touch once I talk to Callie."

"Wait, Dr. Kelly."

"Yes Arizona."

"I love her I will not sign the divorce papers."

"I am going to hang up now and I would like to thank you. I will speak to you next week as well to check on Callie. Good-bye."

"Arizona I am not going to tell you not to contact Callie but remember, if she does not respond she needs time. You do understand that with your entire trauma, your wife went through trauma as well. Keep that in mind. Call me sooner if you need to. I will see you next week Arizona."

"Yes I will be here and thank you very much."

"You're welcome, but you just jumped your biggest hurdle now and this is where I think you might start to really heal. You may experience some triggers still but you will learn what they are and be able to handle them, we will discuss that at our next visit."

"Yes good-bye Dr. Wyatt."

Once we got home, I had a cup of tea and decided to go lie down. I know this might sound awful but I feel the weight of the world is off my shoulders. The truth of everything is finally out there and I do not have to keep reliving it.

I tried to call Callie and text her while in my room. I knew there was a chance she would not respond but I needed to try. I know she is hurt. I decided to send her flowers to the hospital with a note.

Dear Calliope, I love you with all that I am. I finally feel like the weight of world is off my shoulders but saddened that I have put some on yours now. Please, this is a place finally, we both can start healing. When you are ready, please call me.

All my love to you

Arizona


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: The characters in this story aren't mine and they belong to Shonda Rhimes and producers of Grey's Anatomy

A/N – Thank you Jackie for your hard work!

Chapter 7

Arizona POV

A month has gone by and I haven't heard from Callie. I have tried texting, emailing and calling her. She will not talk to me. I cannot say that I blame her. A lot was said at the session for us. However, I felt like a ton of bricks came off my chest. It took a couple of days to recover from all the emotions. I discussed some of it with my parents for them to have a better understanding. Now I hope never to have to talk about it again unless Calliope has questions.

I cannot lie, I was not too happy to hear talk of Mark and sex, but I was deep down happy that she never saw it as making love to him. That she just needed a release when I broke her heart and left her. It is still my own fault though. Sometimes, I think if I would have emailed her or called her she never would have turned to him.

Callie POV

It has been contradictory for me after listening to Arizona explain the crash and Lauren. I now have a better understanding of what they have all been through. I am still struggling with the Lauren deal. Even though I get the emotional and physical aspect, it was just sex! The only consolation was Arizona never let her touch her that way, it is a small consolation.

I am wondering if I can deep down forgive her and let her back into my life? What if she has a trigger and does it again? I cannot and will not go through this again. I have to make a choice to both forgive her and move on or forgive her and we give it another go. I just do not know if she really loves me. She lied over how she felt before, but she came clean it seems, on everything including Lauren. I have not spoken to her since that day a month ago, it is not to punish her, I just need to decide what is best for Sofia and me. She was end game for me. I loved her with all I am. Then my Sofia has been asking for her Momma again. I just do not know what to do.

I walked into Beth's office and she smiled, "Hi Callie, how are you this week?"

"I do not know really."

"Have you been processing last week's session?"

I nod.

"Have you spoken with Arizona since? No? Why not?"

"I just couldn't, I needed to let it all settle and decide what I want to do now that I know everything."

"Of course. Well maybe you can bounce it off me before we make that call to 's office to hear more from Arizona."

"Arizona has tried calling and texting me, she has also emailed several times. I just could not respond. I was not ready to answer anything for her. I was so angry and hurt when I heard her say she wanted to break my heart and hurt me like that. She said I made her a cripple. It hurts to hear her say that. I know you said it before, if I want this to work it has to be built on trust. How do I know if she is lying to me again?"

"Callie if you want this work you have to forgive her. Arizona does have PTSD and it has some effect on her thinking and thought processes. There will still be triggers, but she should be able to handle them with a little help. Now that she has been in therapy for months and you too, you have a better understanding now of what she has been through. Can you put any of this in perspective Callie? If so, you should be able to forgive her, I am not saying that in the back of your head you will forget, because I do not think you ever forget. If she is your end game, then I believe with some hard work and much communication between both of you, you will make it. Ultimately, it is up to you."

"Okay, let's call them."

"Are you saying you've decided?"

"Yes."

"You mind telling me?"

"Nope, I want my marriage to work and I will forgive her, but I have a few questions for her and conditions that might prompt her to say it is over. Such as, I will not go back to Seattle for starters and this will not work long distance."

"You are going to give her an ultimatum?"

"I am trying not to, but I guess since you put it that way, yes. I do not know if deep down I am prepared for her to turn me down."

"Well you need to find out. Nevertheless, if she does say no, what about the holidays? They are right around the corner."

"I know, she can still come and stay with her parents. I will never keep Sofia away from them even it is painful for me. Sofia already lost her father she does not need to lose her Momma and only set of grandparents."

"Okay then, let's do this."

"Hello , this is Beth Kelly, how are you today?"

"Good, is Callie there?"

"Yes, she is, and is Arizona with you?"

"Yes. Okay, ladies who wants to start?"

The therapists were met with total silence. "Okay," Beth says, "Arizona, I understand you have tried to get in touch with Callie this past month."

"Yes, but she is not answering my calls or emails, I even tried to text."

"I know she told me. However, I also know told you that this could happen."

"Yes, she did."

I tapped 's shoulder and cut in with, "Arizona, hi, it's me."

"Oh, Calliope I am so sorry I have hurt you so badly."

"But you were honest Arizona, and that is important. I know that you're sorry, I think you sent it every way to say it. Listen, I would like to say a few things and I want you to really think about it before you answer me okay?"

"Okay."

"I love you with all my heart I always have, but,"

"But no Callie, please don't say it's over!"

"Arizona, please just listen. I can forgive you but, how do I know it will not happen again? I am so scared to let you back in? Moreover, Sofia does not deserve this."

As the tears roll down my face, I hear Arizona crying too. "I do not trust you at the moment, and I live here now, and I will not even consider moving back to Seattle. Beth said you might have triggers and setbacks."

"Yes, that is true but and I have worked through all that Callie, and I will share everything with you. We have to communicate and no sweeping anything under the rug anymore.

"I know, Beth told me that too. What about the distance what are you going to do?"

"Callie," oh here it comes, I knew this was going to happen, "Callie, I am going to move and come home to you and Sofia, that is what I am going to do. Really, Calliope I am going to come home to you!"

I was openly crying now I never dreamed she would move. "

Arizona, Beth said we could continue couple's sessions if we feel we need them."

"That would be great."

Beth jumps in with, " , I want to thank you for working with us. I am thrilled with both our efforts to help these ladies."

"Wait, wait, wait,"

"What is wrong?"

"Arizona, how are you going to get here?"

"Oh," said. " I will prescribe a Valium and Arizona can take it once she gets to the airport, also I will go over some techniques with her parents to keep her calm."

Relieved, I say, "That sounds good. I will call you tonight when I get home with Sofia okay?"

"Okay, see you soon, Calliope."

I went back to work with the biggest smile I haven't worn in a long time. Tracey, my nurse, stopped me and said, " , what has you so happy?"

"Well, my wife and I are going to save our marriage and she is going to move here."

"I did not know you were married."

"Yes, I am, to the one and only Dr. Arizona Robbins."

"Really? She is the pediatric surgeon right?"

"Yes, that is correct."

"She survived a plane crash, didn't she?"

"Uhh, yes."

"I am happy for you ."

I smiled at her as I headed to my office.

I had just sat down and started to go through the charts on my desk when my phone beeps with a message from Arizona. I chuckled. Callie, my parents said they would help me with the move. I already wrote my letter to request a leave of absence. I don't want to resign just yet, please understand, I feel I need to do this in small steps.

I texted back, That was quick what about the board?

Well, I am going to keep my shares and ask Bailey to sit in on the meeting and do it from afar, as I did Africa. Besides, it is a connection for Sofia to Mark, I do not think I can let that connection go, Calliope I cannot wait to be there and start to be a family again. I have missed so much and I do not want to lose anymore.

When I read this, I felt a little guilty. I typed back, I know Arizona and I am so sorry. I cannot wait for this either. I have to go and finish my charts do rounds, and go to the lab for a few hours before I go get Sofia.

Okay, give Sofia hugs and kisses from her Momma.

I decided to call Addie after I finished rounds and my charts, I wanted to let her know what is going on.

"Hey, Addie."

"Well hello stranger, how are you?"

"Good, good."

"Okay, spill it, what's up then Cal?"

"I wanted to give you an update with what is going on and tell me it's alright, please, Addie?"

"What then?"

"Through all the individual sessions and joint sessions with Dr. Wyatt and Arizona, I finally made a decision to forgive her."

"Really?"

"Yes, Addie, she is it for me. When she went over what happened in the woods and Lauren well, let us say I have a better understanding with what both doctors said. In addition..." I tailed off.

"What is that Callie?"

"Dr. Kelly explained sex." I heard Addie laughing. "Not like that Addie."

"Then like what?"

"Arizona never let Lauren reciprocate and had her get on her knees so that there could not be a physical or emotional connection. It was just sex. I know she still cheated Addie, but when we got into the details and Beth broke things down, I have a better understanding. Did you know when I had sex with Mark it was always from behind I would never let him top me?"

"Really?"

"Yes, really, and Beth said for the emotional and physical aspect, Arizona we could try to work things out. We decided she would take a leave of absence for now and come here."

"That is great, Callie. So she will be there for the holidays?"

"Yes, her parents too."

"Okay, well I think I might come too."

"That would be great, there is plenty of room. I will let you know when they coming here."

"Where is she staying? With you or her parents?"

"I don't know, we haven't discussed that yet."

"Don't you think you should?"

"Yes, I will. I think Arizona and her parents will be here in about a week, Addie. At the end of September. This is good so we can adjust to each other and she and Sofia can reconnect too. I still have to work my regular hours and I am sure Arizona will probably keep Sofia out of day care for a while."

"Just be careful with Sofia, Callie, and the changes. She is adjusted to daycare now."

"Yeah I know. I think Arizona might go crazy not working."

"Well, maybe when the chief finds out who you are married to, he will ask for consults."

"That is good idea Addie. All right, I have to run I need to finish my charts and get Sofia. God I am glad it is the weekend. Let me know when you're coming?"

"I will and you let me know when she gets there."

"I will bye."

I went back to work without interruptions and finished for the weekend. I grabbed Sofia and we went home, I ordered some pizza and plopped us down in front of the TV whilst we ate. As I was sitting there thinking about all the changes that are about to happen, I got a little excited for them. I said to Sofia, "Hey big girl, we need to go shopping and buy Halloween decorations and a costume for you." Sofia was babbling while I was laughing.

I knew I did not want to keep mentioning Arizona; I did not want to upset Sofia because she would start looking for her. "Then Sofia, before you know it will be turkey time and Santa Claus will visit." At least Arizona will not miss it. I have to shop for Christmas decorations too. "Ugh! I hate shopping that was always your Momma's thing." I do not mind the food shopping but I do not like the other shopping.

"Come on big girl, bath time and then bed." I decided to take a bath with Sofia and she thought this was so funny. We played until the water got too cold, I jumped out and grabbed a towel and wrapped us both up. I put Sofia on my bed and starting tickling her. Just then, my phone rang, it was Arizona.

"Hey what's up?"

"You said you were going to call."

"I know. I just finished with Sofia's bath and mine. We were having a tickle match and of course, I was winning."

Arizona started laughing, "Of course."

"Can you put me on speaker for Sofia to say good night then you can call me back after you put her down?"

"Yes, go ahead."

"Hey big girl, I love you, are you being a good girl for Mamie?" I was laughing at watching Sofia's reaction to Arizona's voice. "Sofia, Momma will be there soon. Here is a kiss, Callie kiss my baby girl for me and stop laughing."

"I am not laughing at you. I am laughing at watching Sofia looking all over for you, it is too funny."

"Okay, call me back love you Sofia."

"What took you so long?"

"Sorry, I needed to get some clothes on and I grabbed a glass of wine. So what is up?"

"I just wanted to hear your voice and tell you how happy I am that we are going to try. I cannot wait to see both of you. I am excited and nervous too."

"I feel the same way. Sofia and I are going to do the dreadful ordeal of shopping for Halloween tomorrow. I know this is your thing, believe me, I told Sofia that, I will need to get all new Christmas decorations and I thought we could do it together if you like."

I knew Arizona was smiling at that as she said she would love to. "So Arizona where are you staying when you get here?"

"I was hoping to stay with you, but if you think it is too much to start with, I will stay at my parent's house."

I hung up from Arizona, not sure, how I feel about her staying here. Nevertheless, if we are to make our marriage work we need to start somewhere. She will have to adjust to our schedule, and us, which should not be too hard. I went to bed and just tossed and turned wondering if this is going to work. "Mark, where are you? We need to talk. Okay, you just listen. I decided to forgive Arizona for cheating and I cannot even tell you how happy I am that Boswell never had her hands on Arizona, but I am scared Mark. I know, I know, Torres get it together, you know she has been to hell and back and that is no excuse and she is stepping up to the plate here, Torres. If you love her and I know you do you have to try." I laughed aloud if someone heard me they would think I was crazy. I finally fell asleep before I heard Sofia calling for me.

Arizona POV

When Arizona got off the phone, she went straight for the shower and then decided to tell to her parents about their plans. "Hey Dad."

"Hi honey, what's up?"

"After the phone conference call with Callie and her therapist, Callie said she would forgive me and try to save our marriage."

"Arizona that is great news."

"Yeah, I already said I would go to Boston. Callie made it clear she would not return to Seattle."

"I cannot say that I blame her," Dad said.

"Thanks for being on my side here Dad."

"There is no side to take Arizona, you need to understand, you have driven your wife away, and if the only way to get her back is to move to her then I say, 'let's go.'"

I started laughing and Dad said, "What is so funny?"

"Dad, are you in a hurry to get home."

"Hmm, well, yes and no. I love you I do but it's time for you to take charge of your life."

"I know but I am scared to, Dad. What happens if I mess this up.?"

"I think that if you stop trying to do it all on your own and let your wife in fully Arizona and communicate with her by being honest, I don't see you failing honey."

"Thanks Dad. I already wrote my letter for a personal leave of absence from work for four months."

Arizona got a good night's sleep for the first time in months, knowing she was leaving and trying to save her family. "Chief Hunt, there you are."

"What is it, Robbins?"

"I need to take a leave of absence for four months."

"Really?"

"Yes, I already emailed Derek, Meredith, Cristina and Dr. Avery. Since I am already on the board I really do not need any other approval."

"Okay, well can I ask why?"

"Sure you can. Callie and I are going to try to save our marriage. "

"Oh, does this mean Torres is coming back. You know I just hired a replacement ortho right?"

"I know Owen, but no, she is not coming back here."

"Oh shit," he said, "This means you're leaving too?"

Her cheeks turned red, "Owen, I want to tell you I am moving to Boston but I need to wait and make sure everything is going to work out."

"I see, so Robbins if you decide to leave you promise to give me enough notice here?"

"Of course, Owen. I am on my way to the Peds floor now to talk to Alex and Jo."

"Robbins, when are you leaving?"

"In a couple of days, Owen. I cannot wait to get there. I am giving Alex my surgery and going to discuss the cases with him. I can always Skype and email with phone consults Owen."

"Okay Robbins, oh and Arizona I hope it works out for you. I know Callie loves you and well it is obvious how much you love her too."

"Ok," Alex said,

"Are you sure, Robbins?"

"I am more than sure Alex, I know it will be hard but we have both been in therapy and she now knows everything going on with me. I am sure there will still be problems, but if we are both honest with how we feel, I think we will have a great life together."

"Okay Robbins, well, go get your wife and daughter, and I will call you if I need you. Take care, Robbins."

Cristina comes flying into my office and says, "Robbins, I'm happy for you."

"Thank you Cristina, for your kindness even when I didn't deserve it."

"Robbins, my loyalty will always be with Callie now that I am Sofia's god mother, but you and I have something special too, we survived a plane crash. I may not like what you have done Robbins, you're a good person who did something not good. Now, you give my god-daughter hugs and kisses from me and tell Torres I am going to kick her ass too."

"Why?"

"Because I don't see her enough."

"Thanks, Yang."

Arizona walked out of her office after buying three tickets to Boston and texted Callie to let her know that she has everything set on her end. "Mom, Dad?"

"Yes Arizona, where are you?"

"In the bedroom. Work is taken care of; I just bought our tickets for Boston. We fly tonight and should get in around 7pm. That way it is not too late for Callie and Sofia to pick us up. I know Callie is off every weekend, so by leaving on Friday we have 2 days to get used to each other and for Sofia to be ok while Callie isn't home."

"Arizona, are you sure you don't want to stay at our house?"

"Yes, I am sure, it's not like we will jump right into everything, I know this but I feel we need to be in the same house."

"Okay. Well, you know where we live."

"I know."

I finished packing what I thought I would need anything I forgot I would just have to get it there. Shit! What about the wheel chair? I need to ask Callie about that. Just then, my phone went off playing Callie's ringtone. "Hello?"

"Hey Arizona, how are you?"

"I am good. I just finished packing so we can get to airport."

"You have your medicine?"

"Yes. Callie, could you get me a wheelchair for the house and crutches so I don't have to deal with them at the airport?"

"Already done, that is why I am calling you. I have everything you need except your clothes. Remember to pack some warm things, it's getting cold here."

"Okay."

"And anything else you need we can go get. Is there anything else I can go get for you to have? Is there food or anything to make you more comfortable for when you get here?"

"No, thank you for everything you have already done."

"Oh, I have all your bathroom stuff too."

"Great thanks."

"Okay, have your parents call me and let me know when you board. And Arizona, you can do this okay?"

"Callie, I am scared."

"I know it will be hard, but you've got this. Just think, you will see Sofia soon."

"Oh am I not seeing you too?"

Laughing, Callie said, "Of course you will see me, I just thought,"

"Don't Callie; I cannot wait to see both of you. Oh, and thanks Calliope. See you soon."

"Let's go girls, the cab is here."

"Okay ready. Mom you cleaned out the refrigerator right?"

"Yes Arizona. I know what I am doing, now stop stalling and let's go. I know you are nervous but keep thinking about what is at the end of the trip: your girls. You have your medicine right?"

"Yes."

"Then let's go."

It felt like the fastest cab ride to the airport ever. I know it is my nerves. We get checked in, go though security and are waiting to board when my phone beeps like crazy. It was a message from Derek, Meredith and Cristina, telling me I have this and to keeping thinking positive thoughts. Sofia and Callie. Then I get a photo, one from Callie of her holding Sofia with a note to look at this every time a get a bad thought. I smiled and knew then for sure that this is the right thing to do she still loves me. Just then my phone beeped again, the message said, Arizona please take your medicine and know Sofia and I will be waiting for you to come home to us. The tears started to roll down my face, Dad asked if I was okay, I showed him my phone.

We were on the plane, I took the medicine but I do not think I took enough. Therefore, I opened my phone and looked at Callie and Sofia with a smile. The next thing I know, we taxi down the runway and I held my Dad's hand so tightly. Once I felt us lift up and level out I was still very nervous so my Dad ordered me a drink. I laughed and said, "Dad are you trying to get me drunk? With the meds I am taking I shouldn't drink."

"Honey, this will just knock you out for a bit and I think that will help you." I took the drink and downed it.

"Maybe now you will relax a little." The next thing I know we hit turbulence.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: The characters in this story aren't mine and they belong to Shonda Rhimes and producers of Grey's Anatomy

A/N – Thank you Jackie for your hard work!

Chapter 8

Arizona POV

I thought I was going to be sick. When we hit turbulence, I went as pale as a ghost. "Arizona honey, are you okay? Arizona," he said a little louder when I snapped my head around, then the flight attendant showed up and asked if everything was okay. My Dad said, "We are fine. Arizona we are almost there you are safe sweetheart."

The Captain came over the intercom and said, "Welcome to Boston. The temperature outside is 45 degrees. Thank you for flying with us."

My Dad and I waited for most of the other passengers to deplane. We got our carry-on bags and said, "Let's go get the girls," and I smiled for what felt like the first time today.

We get off and start heading down the hall when I spot Callie, most of the people cleared already and Callie put Sofia down and pointed to us and said to Sofia, "Momma's here."

I heard her yell, "Momma."

I started to cry as she ran to me, I scooped her up and just cried as Callie came over and hugged my parents, she looks at me and says, "Welcome home." I was not sure if she wanted hug me or not, so I stood there.

I looked at her, she had this mega watt smile and I said, "Hi." She opened her arms and I immediately walked right into them and started bawling.

My Dad grabbed Sofia as Callie whispered in my ear, "You're okay, you're safe and you're home now."

I felt her rub my back and said, "Thanks."

She squeezed me tighter and I said, "It's so good to feel your arms around me."

She looked at me, smiled and said, "I think we've kept them waiting long enough."

Sofia wiggled out of the Colonel's arms and ran to me saying, "Momma," laughing.

I put my bag down and Callie said, "Are you alright to carry her?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I will get your bag."

We grabbed all the bags and got to the Range Rover. "Callie, you finally got your vehicle."

"Yes and I love it."

"Nice, very nice," they all said.

"Okay, let's go. Colonel and Barbara are you coming to the house or do you want to go straight home?"

"Home please."

Laughing, Callie said to me, "You were right."

Barb said, "Right about what?"

"You would want to go straight home. Barb, I went to the grocery store and stocked your refrigerator for you guys."

"How did you get in the house?"

"Arizona told me where you hide the extra key."

Between laughing she said, "Thank you."

"Okay, you guys are all set. Do you want to come for breakfast tomorrow?"

"Umm, no thanks, you guys catch up a little."

I said, "I know, how about dinner then?"

"Sure, that would great."

"Super. Mom, I will call you with the time."

We had gotten in the car when Callie said, "Are you afraid to be alone with us?"

"Oh God no Callie, if you don't want them to come I will tell them."

"No, that's fine, Arizona."

"Please don't be mad already, I am sorry okay?"

"Arizona, it is fine really. I know they have been your rock I get it okay. It will be nice. Now, are you ready to see where we live?"

"Yes, I cannot wait."

Callie POV

When I pulled into the driveway Arizona's eyes bugged out, "You bought a house?"

"Yes, I did. Three acres, five bedrooms with an awesome master bedroom and bathroom."

"Oh my God, this place is gorgeous. What made you buy a house?"

"Well, I got tired of the noise that was in Seattle and decided I wanted a back yard for Sofia. I wanted something that was mine or now, ours. I hope you like it. Okay, let's go, you can get Sofia whilst she's sleeping and I will grab your bags."

We get inside and Arizona is just standing there. I ask, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, everything is good. One story and it has five bedrooms yes?"

"Here, let's go put Sofia down, it is late and then get your stuff to your room and I will show the house and order some pizza, if that sounds good."

"That would be great."

"Sofia's room is beautiful and you painted it lavender?"

"Yes. I will be honest, I thought of you when I picked the color, I knew you wanted that for her. The rest of the furniture Addie helped me go buy and set up the house."

"Let's finish putting Sofia down for the night and we will talk about everything."

"You promise, Callie?"

"Um, first, I will never make another promise as long as I live and yes we will talk about whatever you want."

"I'm sorry, Calliope, I didn't mean it like that."

"I know you didn't Arizona, it just hit close to the heart, that's all. Now come on, this is supposed to be a happy time."

"Okay, wow this room is nice."

"It has its own bathroom, enough for the toilet and shower."

"Cal," Arizona says, as I see her eyes fill with tears, "I need a chair for the shower."

"Oh I know, Arizona, you'll shower in the master bath. I have everything you need. I told you, what ever you need we could get, no worries. So now, here is the living room."

"Wow. It is nice and spacious, the fireplace I love it."

"Off of the living room is the office."

"Wow, look at the book shelves, just beautiful."

"Now to my favorite spot is the kitchen."

"Oh my, this is awesome. You have a double oven, and a small pizza oven."

"Yeah, the guy who owned this place was a chef, so the kitchen is top-notch."

"Well, I know you're happy, and I can tell you now, I will be too with you cooking again. I missed your cooking."

"Well, you name it for dinner tomorrow and I will make it for you."

"Chicken piccata with some home-made pizza too and don't forget your roast."

Laughing I said, "Slow down, I will make all your favorites one day at a time okay?"

"Hmmm, yup, can't wait."

Arizona looks outside, "Wow, an in ground pool with a pool house."

"Not just any pool house, it's a two bedroom with a little kitchen just like an apartment, there is a built-in patio and barbecue grill."

"Callie, this place is wonderful. How far from the hospital is it?"

"About a Twenty minute drive. How about a glass of wine and we both go get into something comfy, we can go sit in the living room."

"I will meet you there, oh where are the crutches?"

"Right by the door in your room."

"Hey, here you go. You look better."

"Yeah, I needed to get the leg off."

"How has it been feeling?"

"Sore the past couple of days, what with the errands and work, trying to get everything set. I never really had a chance to relax it."

"How are the phantom pains? Is it sore now?"

"Better and yes."

"Is it ok if I massage it? Maybe you'll feel better." I saw her face drop, "Arizona, please. I told you before you came that I want all of you."

She started to cry and said, "Please." She looked at me and nodded her head to go ahead. I felt all her tension her muscles are so tight. She started to relax and said, "Oh god that feels wonderful."

"Well, you can have this every night if you want. I am so glad you're here."

"Me too. Calliope. I know we will find our groove. I love the house and yard. I am thrilled it is one level. The master bedroom and with walk in shower and with the Jacuzzi it awesome. I can't wait to try them out."

"How about tomorrow does that sound like a plan? I know you are tired it has been a long trip and I want to tell you how proud I am of you for making it. You did great, your Dad whispered in my ear."

"Thanks. Did he also tell you I passed out?"

"NO! What happened?"

"Well, I took the meds and then Dad ordered me a drink, he thought I was too uptight and I didn't want to take more pills, he wanted me to relax, well we hit some turbulence and I freaked out."

"Oh no, Arizona I am so sorry."

"No, don't, it's okay. I accomplished something great today and conquered an awful fear."

I held my arms out to her and she readily fell into them, it felt so right and so good.

"We're tired and Sofia will be up early for sure knowing you're here now. I will try to keep her quiet."

"No, don't do that. I want you to wake me up for her too. Please let me I am her Momma, I have missed her."

"Okay."

We hear Sofia start crying out, "Momma." Then the sound of crying. Arizona grabs her crutches and hops into her room, "Baby girl, I am here." The tears start again. "Cal? Can you hand her to me after I sit in the rocker?"

"Of course." I went to get Sofia and she was screaming for Arizona. "Sshh, Sofia I will give you to Momma."

I felt guilty at that moment, and Arizona saw the look on my face.

"Callie, don't do that, its okay. I did this to us, not you. And I have to fix us."

"No, Arizona. We have to fix this. We have to be a team if want this to work."

"You're right."

"Arizona, we need to start over kind of, I think."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, what do you say to a date and we connect slowly."

"Sound's great. Can you take Sofia now that she is back to sleep. I am going to call it a night myself."

"Yeah, me too. Good night Arizona, I am glad you're here."

"Me too, Callie."

I must have been dead to the world because I looked over at the clock and saw it was 9:30 am. I flew out of bed; I heard Arizona and Sofia watching Dora the Explorer.

"Good morning," I said. "I am so sorry I didn't hear Sofia."

Arizona smiled and said, "You heard her but I said I would get her and told you to go back to bed. I take it you don't remember?"

"Nope."

"Well, the coffee is on and we are just waiting for the breakfast that you said you would make us. I gave Sofia some cheerio's to hold her over."

I started laughing, "Carry on with your show, I will call you when you it's ready."

I went to the kitchen and started the bacon, made some chocolate chip pancakes with some scrambled eggs and toast. I poured us all some juice. I went in the living room and said, "Breakfast is ready." Sofia was shaking her head no. "Oh yeah baby girl," and went and scooped her up.

"Arizona, can you shut off the TV? Meet you in the kitchen."

"Oh my God Callie, this is delicious. I have so missed your cooking."

I look up, uncertain. "Really?"

"Yes really. I have missed everything."

I could not look at her at that moment and just kept my eyes on my plate.

I heard her say, "Calliope, please look at me." I lifted my head, with tears, Arizona said, "Please don't take it that way. I do not want to have to worry about a comment I make to you, that you will take it the wrong way. There are no digs here, I want us back, but I want us back better than before. You have to know I love you more than anything and I am sorry I haven't shown you the way a wife should Callie, but we have been through so much and I am sorry."

"Look, this is your first full day here and I want to talk and work this out but, let's enjoy breakfast ok. Let's have a great weekend with Sofia and we will talk here and there."

"Sounds like a plan." After breakfast, we decided to take Sofia out the back to play on the swings before the rain hits.

I was pushing Sofia on swing while Arizona sat in the other one; I asked her what she is thinking. She chuckled and said, "I love fall, I smell the rain, and I miss Boston, but most of all I have missed you and Sofia." I watched as her eyes filled with tears.

"Arizona, no."

"Please Callie, you asked me what I am thinking and I need to tell you. I forgive you Callie, I forgive you for everything, I know I should never have asked you for that promise. I know you made it out of love. I have read my chart, and yelled at Alex too for not telling me, he actually performed the amputation. What I do not understand is why you did not tell me it was him. I feel like you lied to me too."

"Arizona, I didn't' tell you because you were so angry and hateful, I didn't think Alex needed to be on the list too. I am sorry you feel like I lied to you. I can see how you would feel that way, but I can tell you I do not like lying and you know that. Again I am sorry."

"Thank you and I accept your apology."

"Well, look at us talking and not yelling and I think for me it feels great. So what else are you thinking?"

"I wanted to ask you... umm,"

"Arizona, just ask."

"Okay, can I go trick or treating with you?"

I started laughing so I did not see the look on Arizona's face, how hurt she was. I immediately said I was sorry to her about laughing and now she was crying.

"Arizona please I found it funny you asked to go, when we are trying to be family. I wouldn't leave you out."

"Oh okay. I feel like I have to ask permission for everything."

"I see, well that's not going to work for us. Look we need to try to pick up on what we did before we spilt ok. I do not think the way we were parenting Sofia was bad, so let us keep what we had on that agreed. As far as trick or treating, I thought we could take her to your parents and the hospital Halloween party on Peds. This way you get to see the hospital and meet some of the people I work with."

"That sounds great."

"The party is next Friday."

"So what is your work schedule like?"

"I am Monday through Friday and one a month on call and every weekend off for now and I work no later than 7pm."

"Wow, what a schedule."

"Yeah, I didn't want Sofia in day care all the time and I really don't know anyone to babysit. But I also haven't gone out of my way to meet anyone either other than the staff."

"Oh." Arizona said with a smile.

"So, what else are you thinking?"

"That I love the house, like I really love the house. One level with the large rooms, the back yard with the pool, and the privacy back here. It really is just beautiful. I am jealous I wasn't part of the decision on buying it."

I chuckled again and she just looked at me and said, "I am trying to be honest with you Cal on how I feel and it hurts my feelings that you keep laughing."

"After I bought this house I thought of you."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. When I found this one, I knew it was the one for several reasons. For starters, the master bedroom, the kitchen is my dream. The large living room with the additional bedrooms, In addition, l loved the backyard. The price was stiff but I think I still got a good deal. I paid cash for it. I saw no need for a mortgage payment."

"I want to thank you Callie, for the wheel chair and extra crutches and the shower chair. You thought of everything."

"I tried, I want this to work Arizona, I really do. I forgive you too and I want to move forward for all of us. I want to wake up happy again and smile. I want Sofia to stop crying in the middle night all the time."

"I want this too, Calliope."

"Let's go inside, it is starting to get chilly out here."

"I agree, what do you want to do?"

"How about we get Sofia to take a nap and you and I can talk a little more if you up to it."

"Come Sofia nap time."

"Momma?"

"Yes Sofia, Momma is here."

Arizona said, "Here, I will put her down. Maybe the more she sees me doing things with her, the more it will put her little mind at ease."

"Yeah, maybe you're right."

"You mind if I lay down for a nap too? I think the trip and getting up early is catching up with me."

"No, go ahead. I am going to go the study and pay a few bills and work on my paper on the cartilage."

"Where are you on that almost done?"

"I am waiting for the approval for the trial."

"Don't you have something to tell me by the way?"

"No."

"Oh come on, yes you do."

"Okay, what?"

"You are in the running for the Harper Avery award."

"Oh yeah, that."

"Don't you 'oh yeah, that,' Calliope. You have worked so hard on that, turning jello into cartilage. I am so proud of you."

"Thanks, that means a lot coming from you."

"Okay, get some rest I will see you in a while."

I have been in the study for over an hour when I hear yelling, I get up to check it out and head to Arizona's room, I peak in and she is having a nightmare. I walked over to her and tried to wake her with no luck. I was not sure what to do. I know what worked in the past.

So I climbed up in the bed and pulled Arizona into me and said, "Come on, you're safe, Arizona, you're in Boston, you're home now, come on."

She slowly starts to wake and realize where she is, she was crying again, "Please Callie."

"Please, what Arizona?"

"Please don't just leave me again, please! Promise me you will not leave!"

"Arizona, I will never ever promise you anything again. I will never go through that again. However, I will give you my word that I will not leave. I told you we would work at saving our marriage, and I for one will give you 100% okay?"

"Okay," as she snuggled closer to me. I will not lie it felt great to hold her, but we have a long road.

"Okay, you good now?"

"Yes."

"How is your paper?"

"It is done."

"Good job. Sofia still sleeping?"

"Yeah," but I heard her stirring. "Why don't we both go in there and get her and then maybe you can either call or text your parents for dinner to see if they are still coming."

"Good idea."

"Callie, my parents are not coming, they said the weather is nasty and if we are settling in together and do not need a buffer they would prefer to just stay home."

My cell phone beeped, it was Barbara, double-checking that we are okay and thanking me again for the food. She also asked us over for dinner on Wednesday. I texted her back with an affirmative.

I relayed all this to Arizona, who readily agreed.

"Hey, I just thought of something."

"Hmm, I see the wheels turning."

"Hey, watch it!"

Laughing, she said, "No, really what?"

"I think we should go car shopping for you, so you're not stuck here all day waiting for me to get home. If we get you a car, then you can come and go as you please with Sofia."

"That would be great, but what about my car in Seattle?"

"Let's leave it there for now, you still have the apartment and the lease is still good for seven more months' right?"

"Okay, then we will decide what do with everything after the holidays, if that is ok with you of course?"

"That sounds like a plan and now that is one less thing for me to worry about."

"Good".

"How about we make pizza for dinner tonight? It is crappy outside and I really just don't feel like going out. It's cold, dark, and raining."

"I know I don't really want to either."

"Good, now how about the pineapple pizza that you like, with a glass of wine and we can sit in the living room and watch a movie with Sofia."

"Sounds perfect."

"You pick out the movie, get yourself comfortable and I will put the pizza together and be right in with wine."

I walk into the living room and see Sofia playing with her blocks; Arizona was in the process of removing her leg. I stopped dead in my tracks and went to turn around and Arizona yelled, "Where are you going?"

"I know you don't want me in the same room when you do that."

"Oh, well get back here because, even if I feel a little funny about removing my leg, you are my wife and I need to get over this."

I sat down on the opposite side of the couch, when Arizona had finished she looked at me, with tears in her eyes,

"Arizona, what is wrong?"

"I never wanted you to see me do that!"

"Do what?"

"Look while I take my leg off."

"Again, why?"

"Because it makes me look ugly."

"Oh, Arizona it does not make you ugly. Do you know what I see when I see you. I do not see you are missing a leg; I see my beautiful, strong, wife who happened to survive a plane crash. I have never once thought differently. You are still gorgeous to me. I don't think that will ever change."

I wiped her tears away, pulled her into a hug. I heard her softly whisper to me, how much she missed me, and cuddling together, and how much she wants this all back. "I feel so safe in your arms. I have hated myself for pushing you away."

"Well, stop hating yourself! You're home now and we are both going to get better at this, okay?"

"Okay."

"Let's go get the pizza, it's ready."

"NO! I don't want to let you go."

Laughing, "You have to if you don't want the smoke alarms to go off and Sofia crying from the noise. I tell you what, after we eat you can come back here while we watch the movie and I will be glad to hold you."

"Okay." I feel her smile as she lifts herself from me.

"Come on Sofia, let's have some pizza."

I hear Arizona moan after she bites into the pizza, and look at her. "Oh God, Callie, this is awesome."

I chuckle and say, "Thanks, glad you're enjoying it."

She smacked my arm, "Stop laughing at me."

"It sounds like you have eaten in years."

"Well, I kind of haven't, except when my parents forced me. I just couldn't eat."

"Oh."

"Well. We are going to change that. What movie did you pick?"

"Aladdin."

Before I knew it, Sofia and Arizona had fallen asleep. I snuck away from Arizona, picked up Sofia, and put her to bed. I came back out to see Arizona curled up on the couch; I decided not to disturb her and just throw a blanket on her and head to bed.

I woke up to hear Sofia babbling and went in to get her. When I went out to the living room Arizona was not there. I went and looked in her room and she is not there. I smelled coffee and went into the kitchen and again, she is not there. I hear the back door open and she comes walking in.

"Hey I was looking all over for you."

"I decided to sit out back for a little bit with my coffee. Thanks for the blanket last night."

"You're welcome."

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You looked so peaceful and I didn't want to disturb you."

"Oh."

"Why, is there a problem?"

"No, there's not."

"You okay?"

"Yes, thanks."

"Arizona, come on don't do this! Tell me what is wrong."

"I feel stupid?"

"Why?"

"I only thought of something bad, like you didn't want to have to cuddle anymore!"

"Oh. Well, now you know, but you have to stop thinking negatively. How about breakfast? Maybe a short walk to get outside since it's stopped raining?"

"Sounds good, I am going to shower while you cook and then we can eat and I will do clean up and dress Sofia while you shower."

Once we get ready, Sofia was so happy to be outside, we walked for a few blocks, we just talked about little things, keeping it easy for now, and it felt great for me.

Before I know we are back home, Sofia and Arizona are napping again. I decide to check the paper I have written, to send to be published. Arizona pops her head in the study with Sofia, "Oh, hi."

"You seem to be deep in thought in here?"

"I am, or I was. I just finished the paper, ready to hit send."

"Do you want me to read it for you? I know you liked it when I edited your other stuff."

"Yes please that would be great."

"I will start dinner with Sofia while you do this."

I was just finishing setting the table when Arizona came in and said my paper was awesome. She made the corrections and told me all I have to do is hit send. "Great, thanks. Dinner was delicious.

I am going to bed I have to be in work tomorrow, so are you sure you're going to be ok with Sofia?"

"Yes and I can call my mom if I need help."

"Okay, well call me too. Good night."


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: The characters in this story aren't mine and they belong to ShondaRhimes and producers of Grey's Anatomy

A/N - Thank you Jackie I appreciate all your hard work.

A/N - Tonight's Grey was good for a change. I am actually looking forward to next week.

Chapter 9

Callie POV

I cannot believe how fast the week has gone by. I have to say it has been nice going home, dinner is always ready, Sofia seems happier. Arizona has been making sure to take time for us just after Sofia goes to bed, to just talk. It has been great. I let her know she seems to be the talk of the hospital and I do not know why.

Some of the nurses and now, other doctors have found out I am married. It's Friday afternoon and I cannot wait to go home. Tonight is the Halloween party. The chief has paged me to his office, "Shit, what did I do?" I was thinking. I get to his door and am ready to knock when I hear, "Torres! Get your ass in here!" Oh God, here it comes.

"Chief, what can I do for you?"

"Torres, you did not tell me you were married."

"Well Sir, I did not think I had to."

"Not only did you not tell me, you didn't tell me it is the famous Dr. Arizona Robbins."

"Well, Sir, I didn't think it was anyone's business who I am married to."

"Torres, I am not mad, please don't be so defensive. I would like to meet her if that is okay?"

"Sure, I am on my way out now to go pick her and Sofia up for the Halloween party."

"Arizona, I'm home."

"We're in your bathroom."

"Hi."

"Hey, how was your day?"

"Good, the chief called me into his office and wanted to know why I did not tell him I was married."

"Really?"

"And when he found out that you are the person I married, well this made the man happy. He asked if he could meet you tonight."

"What did you tell him?"

"Yeah, of course," with a smile. "I would not be surprised if he asked you for some consults."

"Well what do you want me to tell him?"

"Whatever you want to Arizona. This is up to you. If you want to come in for some consults that is fine with me. Sofia can go to daycare. I took care of putting you and your parents as contacts. And it might be good for you too, give you something to do, other than sitting home bored and playing all day."

"Hey," she started to laugh, "Sofia and I cook and clean too."

"I know, you know what I mean."

"You girls ready? It is time to go."

"Yes, we will meet you in the car." We get to the hospital and put Sofia in her stroller. Arizona is pushing her and I decided I would see if she would let me hold her hand. I bumped my arm in to her on purpose and slid my hand in to hers. She stopped and looked at me and took her hand back.

I just looked at her with hurt in my eyes.

"Calliope, it's ok. I just wanted to give you a hug." So she does, and follows it with kisses on both of my cheeks. I felt myself blushing; she locked our fingers together and started pushing Sofia again. It felt good to have Arizona on my arm walking into work. Arizona bumps my shoulder and smiles and says, "I love you."

"Torres, you're here."

"Hey Chief, this is my wife Arizona."

"Hello Dr. Robbins, it is a pleasure to finally meet you."

"Please, it's Arizona. It's nice to meet you too. Callie has told me a lot about the hospital and your staff."

I could tell Arizona was a little bit off but I didn't know why. As she was talking to the chief, she looked at me and I winked at her. Not even a smile, oh boy am I in trouble and I don't know why.

"Excuse me, Chief. I need my wife for a minute."

"Sure, Torres."

I pull Arizona aside and asked, "Are you ok, what is wrong?" She just looked at me and said nothing. "You need to tell me what is wrong! We are not hiding anymore remember? Arizona, come on. Please, tell me. How are we to keep on track if you step backwards?"

She looked at me and said, "I feel stupid saying anything and it's just my feelings are hurt. I said to you before the Chief called you, I said I loved you and well, you didn't respond. I guess I just wanted you say it back."

"I am sorry, I do love you too."

I kissed her on the lips in front of everyone so that maybe she would feel better about us. I got a big smile and pulled her into a hug, and whispered in her ear, "I really do love you."I decided to add, "Maybe soon I will show you again."

Arizona pulled back, her face covered in a blush; she hit my arm, "Behave whilst we are here."

I started laughing, "I am."

I introduce Arizona to everyone on the pediatrics floor and many of the staff has already heard of her. Then the Head of Pediatrics came over and I felt Arizona go stiff.

"Well hello Dr. Robbins."

"Dr. Stark, how are you? I had no idea you were here."

"Yeah, well, not for long, I have no intention of renewing my contract and working for that person! And he pointed to the chief.

"Oh, I am sorry to hear that."

"Why are you here?" he asked.

"I am here with my wife Dr. Torres."

"I did not know she was married."

I am talking with some staff members and I see Arizona look at me with that look that she has when she wants to ask me a question. So walk over to her and say, "Hey, how are you doing?"

"Good, I was just wondering why you never told anyone you were married."

"Can we talk about this later? I will answer anything you want."

"Sure."

We said our good nights, get to the car and buckle in. I knew she was not going to wait long, she wanted her answer.

"So Arizona, the reason everyone did not know I was married, one I do not wear a ring," and I showed her my hand.

The look on her face was not good, "Do you plan to put your ring back on?"

"I do not have it, I gave it to you."

"I brought it with me."

"Well, to be honest, I am not sure that I am ready for that."

"Are you embarrassed by me?"

"Oh, God no. I just never found a reason to say anything. I was so wrapped up in Sofia and my new job, with the lab. In addition, no one asked."

I watch her eyes fill with tears, "Arizona, I'm sorry."

"Are you telling me it is over for good then?"

"No, I am not. However, I will come to you when I am ready."

"Okay, yeah okay."

"In addition, the other reasons are that I started work about one month after I got here, and I saw no reason to say anything when I had no idea what was going to happen with us."

Okay, thanks for letting me know," as she stared out the window.

We get home and put Sofia to bed, I went to kiss her goodnight and she turned her head from me, said good night and closed her door. Great, just great, I thought. Three steps forward, ten steps back. I went to my room and showered.

I came out in only a towel and see Arizona was sitting on my bed. "Hey, what's up?"

"I am sorry for my behavior tonight."

"It's okay. I understand, really I do." I grab some pajamas, went back to the bathroom to put them on. When I came back out Arizona is lying down with her eyes closed.

"Arizona, you ok?"

"Yeah I am just tired and I want to talk, I do not want to go to bed mad."

"Look, no Arizona, look at me when I say this to you. I do love you very much, I want us to work more than anything, I am afraid also. You have the ability to destroy me. I want you more than you know. However, you said you would try. I know you are scared, I am scared too."

"I guess I am just in a hurry and I should not be rushing things."

"We have no time limit okay? Everything will happen when it is supposed to."

"I know. It's just, umm."

"Just say it, Arizona."

"I want you to hold me, I want to lay here tonight and for you to, just hold me. Please let me stay in here tonight?"

"Arizona,"

"Please Calliope?"

"Okay, but no funny business."

"Nope I will behave."

"Alright, lift up your butt and I will pull the covers down."

I look at Arizona and she's got that damn smirk on her face. After she had gotten all cozy, I got under the covers I shut off the light and lay on my back. I rolled over and put my back to her thinking, 'How am I going to do this? Now I am going to fight with myself to keep my hands to myself.'

I feel her hand on my back and I hear, "Callie you said you would hold me."

'Damn it! She is going to hold me to it. She is doing this on purpose and I know it.'

I rolled over, "Come here." She scooted right over and put her head on my shoulder.

"Callie, this is nice thank you."

"You're welcome." All of a sudden I hear her soft snores. Wow, that was fast. I felt her hand go around my waist as she pulled me tighter. Somewhere through the night, I was the big spoon. I was snuggled right into her. I felt her eyes on me and told her to stop staring, "It's creepy."

"I cannot help it," she said giggling.

"Hmmph," I said. I rolled over and looked at her and her eyes glisten. "Everything alright, Arizona?"

"Everything is great. I just had the best night's sleep ever."

I grinned at her and admitted I slept great too. I leaned over and kissed her, she returned the kiss, I took my tongue and requested entrance, and she immediately accepted as we both moaned. I pulled her up on top of me and we continued to make out. With some heavy breathing, Arizona put her head on my chest. "Wow," we both said.

As I lay there, I put my arm around Arizona and I felt like we were a family. "Why don't you grab Sofia and I will go start breakfast?"

"Okay, meet you in the kitchen, but first can you get my leg." I grabbed Arizona's leg, smiled, and thought we've come a long way. I can't wait to be intimate with her. Soon I hope, very soon.

I starting cooking, preparing some bacon, chocolate chip pancakes for Sofia and Arizona, along with some eggs. I poured us some coffee and juice and fixed Sofia's Sippy cup.

"It smells delicious, and oh, you made my favorite chocolate chip pancakes."

"Enjoy them," I said.

We sat there not having to say a word and enjoyed breakfast as Sofia made a mess. I took a sip of coffee and looked at Arizona.

"What? Do I have something on my face?"

"No, you are just beautiful." I watched her blush and her dimple popped, I smiled my mega watt smile and said, "How would like to go out on the town tonight if the weather stays good and we can get your parents to babysit?"

She looked at me with those baby blues; "I would love to go with you."

"Great. I will call your Mom."

"Let's call her now."

Arizona started to call, "Hey Mom, you're on speaker with Callie here."

"Is everything okay?"

"It's great. Barbara is there any way you and the Colonel can babysit tonight? If the weather stays good I would like to take Arizona out on a date."

"Yes," she said immediately. I laughed, "Don't you want to ask the Colonel?"

"Callie, I heard you and nodded to Barbara, we would be delighted. How about we come there later, so you do not have to take Sofia out?"

"Sounds like a plan, Colonel."

"Well, that I was easy," I said.

"Callie, do you want to clean up Sofia while I do the dishes?"

"Um no, how about we clean the kitchen together, then I will take care of Sofia."

Arizona smiled widely as I got up and I feel her arms around my waist as she hugs me. "Thank you for a wonderful morning."

I turned around, pulled her in for a kiss, and said, "You're welcome."

We finished the kitchen and Sofia was dressed and playing on the floor with me, Arizona was reading the paper with her glasses on which is unusual, she normally wears her contacts. "Hey, are your eyes bothering you today?"

"No, I just got lazy and did not feel like putting them in."

"Oh."

"You know it is only three weeks to thanksgiving right?"

"Yeah"

"So, can we invite my parents?"

"Of course isn't that what thanksgiving is for? Family and friends..."

"Yeah, I know, but I just want to make sure we are on the same page."

"You know Addison said she was coming out for thanksgiving too."

"No, this is first I am hearing of this."

"You do not have a problem with it do you?"

"No, I know you called her regularly and updated her with everything you did."

"Yeah, and believe me she had your back."

"I know".

"I am going to tell you something now please don't get angry and just listen first ok?"

"When Addie was here and she helped me shop and set up she was also my sounding board."

"Okay," Arizona said.

"In addition, well we had some wine and were talking about you, and the cheating and the plane crash the car accident and with Africa and the no kid thing."

"Wow, I have a feeling I really am in trouble here."

"No, Arizona, you're not." I crawled over to her and held her hand. "Addie was explaining everything to me and opened my eyes to things too. About how much you have been through. She told me about Mark at the hospital, telling you that you were nothing." Arizona immediately filled with tears. "Please let me finish. Just so, you know, if Mark were alive, I would kick his ass." We both chuckled a little, "Just so you know, you are not nothing or never could be nothing, you Arizona Robbins, are truly the love of my life. Moreover, if we lost Sofia from the accident, I would never have slept with Mark again. Do you understand how much I truly love you? In addition to, why all this has hurt so much? You are my soul mate Arizona, my one and only. It has always been you and will always be you."

Arizona was really crying now telling me how sorry she is. "Please, I know that. Nevertheless, with the entire trauma that has happened to us and mainly you, I know now I have pushed you too hard and should have made sure you got counseling when the rest of them did."

"Callie, I am truly sorry for being the cause of your pain. Please, it is my turn since you started this."

"Okay."

"You are and will always be mine. You are my soul mate. The night of the storm was the biggest mistake of my life and meant absolutely nothing to me. I have made choices by leaving you stranded at the airport, when I could have easily just talked to you instead of sweeping it all under the carpet; I am so good at that. Just, the no kid thing I was scared, I wasn't ready to be a mom. I pulled Alex off the plane, and then Nick coming here dying. Not once did I even come to you and ask how you felt, I just did it. With Dr. Wyatt's help she helped me to see, she asked me how I would like it if you treated me that way. In addition, I think that is all it took for me to open my eyes more. I did feel like the third wheel with Mark."

"I know Arizona and for that I am truly sorry but from now on you and Sofia will be my number one girls. I will make sure you know it too."

Arizona looked at me, with a smile that would feel great. "I am so glad we are having this talk Callie. This stuff I covered in therapy but not with you."

"Same here."

"I know Cristina is your friend but she became mine too. She told me directly that you and Sofia would always be first but that she and I have something too."

"The plane crash."

"Yes, Callie. Cristina kept us all alive. She did not sleep for four days. She knew I would lose my leg. I would not let her talk about it either. She tried so hard to keep it clean." We were both crying now.

"She and Owen have broken up for good. She seemed so lost when I left."

"Well how about we invite her to come for thanksgiving too? We have plenty of room."

"Okay, I will call her. I also want to tell you that Addie pointed out why I bought this house too."

"Okay why?"

"Because of you"

"Oh."

"It is true but I think I told you that. If you want to sell it, we can, so we can pick out a house together."

"Nope, no way. I love this house. I love the one floor all the rooms, the backyard. I know this might not be so funny through my tears, but I feel so much better. Like the weight of the world is not sitting on shoulders."

"I feel the same way."

Arizona leans down to give me a kiss which starts to get out of control until we hear Sofia, "Momma," I pulled back and smiled.

"Come here baby girl," Arizona puts her arms out; Sofia crawled right over to her and pulled herself up.

Sofia put her chubby little hand on Arizona's face and said, "Momma."

"What baby girl, what?"

"Momma," and put her head on Arizona's shoulder and just laid there. "Sofia, my big girl you have been through so much in your young life sweetie. I love you so much." I smiled at Arizona and got up.

"Looks like she has fallen asleep. Here let me lay her down in her crib. I will be right back."

"So, where are we going tonight?"

"Wherever you want"

"Okay, how about the near the harbor, I heard there is bar and grill."

"Okay then that is where we are going. Now back to thanksgiving."

"What about it?"

"Let's call Cristina and Addie."

"Hey, Addie"

"Callie, to what do I owe you for this phone call?"

"Are you still coming for thanksgiving?"

"Yes, as long as you will have me."

"Addie, you are on speakerphone Arizona is here."

"Hi Addie"

"Hello Arizona, how are you doing?"

"I am doing terrific since I am with my girls. Things are going good. Callie is taking me out on a date tonight."

"Well that sounds great. Hey, I have to run I will text you all the flight information as soon as I book it. Do I need a hotel?"

"Absolutely not" We were all laughing, "Okay ladies, I will see you at thanksgiving."

"Bye, Addie."

"Let's call Cristina. Hey Cristina, it's me."

"Hi me."

"Callie and I want to know if you will come for thanksgiving."

"Am I on speakerphone?"

"You are now."

"Hi Callie, how are you and Sofia?"

"We are good Cris."

"Let me think about it ok. Because this would mean I would have to fly right."

"Unless you take, a train or bus and you could drive. Addie is coming and I can ask her to fly to Seattle first this way you would have someone."

"Yeah, that would help then I can take a valium to get through the trip."

"That is what I did, Yang. It worked great. I had one freak out and my Dad bought me a drink, then I passed out for the rest of the trip."

"Okay, I will do it only if Addison flies with me."

"Okay, we will ask her now and text you ok."

"Bye ladies I look forward to seeing you."

"Addie, can you fly to Seattle to pick up Cristina and let her fly with you so she has someone?"

"Sure I can, send me her phone number so we can work out a time."

"Well, that was easy. Now come on let's get ready to hit the town and pray the weather holds out for us. And let it be a surprise, you get ready in the other bathroom while I use mine."

"Arizona are you going to get the door?"

"Yeah, Calliope, it is my parents."

"Hi, Mom, Dad."

"Hi sweetheart. So you have a hot date tonight?"

"I sure do. I cannot wait to see her. Callie had us get ready in separate bathrooms."

"Well you look beautiful as always."

"Oh, Dad I just have on jeans and my blue top, I know she loves it when I wear the blue top."

"Arizona are you ready?"

"Yes, in the living room with Mom and Dad."

"Hi everyone, wow you look beautiful as always."

"As do you."

"Thank you."

"Okay Mom, Sofia's dinner is in the kitchen and as well as for you guys. Callie made homemade pizza for you."

"That sounds delicious, you girls have a good time and we will see you later."

"We won't be late and if the weather turns we will be home earlier." I opened the door for Arizona to the garage and she hits the door opener. "Are you hungry?"

"Yes I am starving; I almost took some pizza it smelled so good."

"I called and made reservations for us."

We get to the bar and grill and are seated right away in a booth in the back. It was nice, not many people around us.

"You want a glass of wine?"

"Yes, please. What about you Callie what are you getting?"

"I think I want a glass of red wine and a T-bone steak with a baked potatoes and roasted veggies."

"That sounds good."

"Well what about you?"

"I will have the same but I want a rib eye."

We placed our order and while we waited I reached for Arizona's hand."This is nice, it has been so long."

"I know."

"You okay?"

"Yes. It just feels so good to be out with you."

"Well, I think we should do a date night at least once a month and another date night at home once a week."

"I like your thinking and we need to make sure that happens."

Our food arrived, we ate and chatted, it just felt so good. I switched to drinking water because I was driving.

"You're done with drinking?"

"Yeah, I am driving and worried about the weather with this storm coming in."

"Oh, how about we go and take a short walk along the harbor. Then we can stop at the store grab some groceries in case it turns to snow and ice like they are calling for."

"Alright, let's go."

We walked over to the harbor and I reached for Arizona's hand, this time she slips it into mine and said, "Thank you for tonight it's been wonderful."

I let go of her hand and pulled her in for a hug and a kiss. She kept her head on my shoulder as we walked. We stopped and looked up and it started to snow. Arizona said, "Stick out your tongue and see if you can catch the snowflakes."

Two grown woman standing outside sticking out their tongues trying to catch snowflakes, we are laughing at how silly we must look.

"Yes, but we are having fun."

"Yes we are."

"Arizona, thank you for tonight, I had a great time."

"I did too. You ready to get going."

"Yeah, it's still early, after we finish at the store and your parents leave, Sofia should be in bed how about a movie and some dessert?"

"That sounds wonderful."

"You're home early."

"Well we decided to go shopping after dinner since they are calling for about 8 inches of snow. Thought I would make us a dessert and watch a movie, you guys are more than welcome to stay."

"I made an apple pie for you, if you have ice cream there is a nice dessert. It has just started to snow, so, thank you for the offer, but I think we will get going."

"Okay, thank you both for watching Sofia for us."

"Anytime sweethearts."

"Text me that you got home safely."

"We will, good night girls."

We both went to our rooms and changed into pajamas to get comfortable.

"You can pick out a movie. You ready for dessert or you want to wait a little bit?"

"Let's wait. How about the notebook?"

"Sounds good."

I took the end of the couch as Arizona sat and took off her leg. I watch her wince. "Here, let me." I was hoping Arizona would be comfortable with this, she looked at me, "Please go ahead I would love if you would massage my stump."

She pulled up her pant leg, letting me massage her. I felt all the tense and tight muscles. I asked her if her leg has been sore and she said it has. I can see that it is red and swollen.

"I am not telling you what to do, but you need to keep your leg off all day tomorrow if you can. And tomorrow, if you soak in the Jacuzzi for a while it will help."

"But then I can't help with Sofia."

"Of course you can. I am home tomorrow. Please do this for me."

"Okay, Calliope, I will."

I finished her massage as we were watching the movie I heard Sofia. Arizona said, "Let me."

"Wait I need to get your crutches. While you settle her down I am going to make pie Alamo with caramel sauce for us."

"Mmm, meet you back here."

"Hey, here you go."

"Mmm, Calliope, this is delicious."

"Yeah it is, your Mom makes the best apple pie."

"That she does."

When we had finished our dessert I pulled Arizona over to snuggle and finish watching the movie. We must have dozed off because I awoke to the credits rolling. I sat up and Arizona stirred, "The movie is over and I am tired, I am going to bed."

"Oh, I see." Arizona just sat and looked at me.

"Well are you coming with me or not." I didn't know this woman could move so fast. She walks by me with a smirk, "Calliope are you coming?" as she hopped down the hallway.

We get to the bedroom and I smile as Arizona climbs into bed. I crawl in and shut off the light. I can see out our window, the snow is coming down hard. I said to Arizona, "I will either have to shovel tomorrow or pay someone to plow us out."

"Have you thought about buying a four wheeler with a plow or a riding mower with a plow?"

"Nope, never gave it a thought. First time home owner and didn't give winter much thought to be honest."

"Well Calliope, we are in the belt way so be ready that these eight inches can easily go over a foot."

"Then it's a good thing we stocked up on some things."

"We need to always have candles, extra batteries for the flash lights. And we should keep extra wood for heat in case we lose power. Maybe we should invest in a generator."

"That's a good idea. How much do they cost?"

"I don't know, nor do I care. I think we need to get one."

"Okay, we will then."

I rolled over and put my back to Arizona to tease her, "Good night Arizona," I said.

"Really Calliope? I don't get at least a kiss good night?"

"Hmm, let me think, you have been pretty good all day today," so I rolled over and gave her a kiss on her forehead.

"Calliope" Really?" Arizona starts to tickle me. "You better give a me a good night kiss like you mean it."

"Okay. Stop tickling me." I grabbed Arizona, pulled her to me and kissed her like I meant it. When neither one of us could breathe and needed oxygen I pulled away. "Is that better?"

"I think you should kiss me one more time." I pulled her on top of me and kissed her with so much feeling that when she pulled away she said, "That is more like it. Good night," she said and rolled off me, took my arm arranging us so I was the big spoon. I heard her say, "Much better."

I woke before Arizona for a change and slowly snuck out of bed. I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, grabbed my robe and slippers, it was chilly in the house. I checked the thermostat, I have it set at sixty eight degrees. I decided to start the coffee and went to look outside, it was still snowing. It looks like we are snowed in. I am standing there thinking the hospital is probably swamped. I went and started a fire for us. I grabbed my phone and decided to get a hold of David Moore back in Seattle over this aqua leg for Arizona.

"Hey David, this is Dr. Callie Torres, you know my wife Dr. Arizona Robbins."

"Yes, Dr. Torres what can I do for you?"

"Is there any way you can send her stump measurements to me?"

"Sure, why?"

"Well I want to contact this German company over making her aqua leg and I'm hoping to get it by Christmas."

"Sure, I will get them straight to you."

"Please do not let her know, it's a surprise for her."

"Okay, I have read a lot about this as well. The only down fall is comes with hefty price."

"Well I am not too worried with that."

"Alright, I will send them to your email.

"Thanks, David."

I went back in the kitchen to get a cup of coffee; I also made one for Arizona thinking I would surprise her in bed. I walked over to her side and placed it down on the bedside table. I knew she smelled it because I saw her smirk. I started to rub her back, slowly waking her up. "I brought you coffee."

"It smells wonderful. So why am I getting coffee in bed?"

"Well, I wanted to wake you up since Sofia is still sleeping, I started a fire as it was chilly, I thought you might like to come snuggle in the living room in front of the fire. And keep that leg off."

"Yes ma'am."

"I will bring your coffee."

"This is so nice, it's quiet and peaceful. Mmm, this tastes good. Thanks for waking me to share this with you."

"You're welcome, you know we have had some great days and it feels wonderful and I just wanted you to know that. And I like this right now, being honest and being able to talk openly without worrying we will be so angry."

"Me too," Arizona said. "I like the new us too."

A/N What do you Think?


End file.
